Why Heidi Montag Will Never Be Skinny Enough

heidi montagYou can finally get those eight hours tonight because the answer to the burning question "Where has Heidi Montag been hiding?" (or is it heiding?) has finally been answered: She's been working out. A lot. No, a lot.  

The Hills star recently told Us Weekly that she's been spending an insane about of time exercising in order to get in shape for a Las Vegas pool party she and Hugh Hefner's ex-fiance, Crystal Harris, hosted over the weekend. You're seriously not going to believe how many hours a day equals "insane."


Heidi claims she worked out each day from 5 a.m. to 7 p,m. That is 14 hours a day.

So, not only is Mrs. Spencer Pratt the biggest liar in the world, her body issues are worse than we thought. And she's putting terrible, terrible ideas in young girls' heads to boot.

It goes without saying that Heidi has issues. And it also goes without saying that she tries to mend those issues -- whatever they may be -- by changing her outer appearance. It's not just the pressures of Hollywood that make a young girl undergo 900 surgeries in one day. It's something much deeper. I hate to even say this, but I will, because it's the times we're living in: "Normal" is being unhappy with the wrinkles in your forehead and injecting a little botulinum toxin into them. Abnormal is wanting to become a completely different person on the inside outside.

Heidi's claims that she spent over half a day, every day for two months working out reaffirm her deep-seeded problems, along with the fact that she's completely delusional. It is not humanly possible to work out that long as a means of weight loss. If you spend the day moving and stop for meals, fine, I buy that you "worked out" for 14 hours. But to say that it was a conscious decision is a load of crap, and like I said, probably going to mess with a few young girls' heads.

Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if Heidi went under the knife again to rid herself of whatever "fat" was on her body. She -- rightfully so -- took a lot of heat last time for hacking her entire face and body up in a single day. Maybe she just doesn't want the static again, so she's making up crazy lies for her sudden "weight loss." If she wants to do that, fine. All celebrities have "yoga, exercise, and an organic diet" to thank for their other-wordly physiques. But I just wish she would have consulted with her PR person or something before she made these comments, because I would hate for a chubby eighth grader to think that this is the way to "get skinny." Because it's totally not.

Heidi, if you want to do all this crap to yourself, that's one thing. Just please keep quiet in the process, though, because you could be hurting other people.

What do you think of Heidi Montag's claims that she worked out 900 hours a day?


Image via David Becker/Getty

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