It must be tough being Pippa Middleton's ass right now. She's worked so hard -- and gained so much acclaim -- only to lose London's coveted Rear of the Year award to some media personality I've never heard of before named Carol Vorderman.
Pippa's bottom seemed like a shoo-in, right? What, with its own Twitter account and its launching of thousands, if not millions, of blog posts and articles dedicated to "how to get one just like it." It's downright shocking that Kate Middleton's sister's rump came in at second in the contest, if I do say so myself.
But the really shocking part is that Carol Vorderman is 50. And she's way more voluptuous than ultra-skinny (and 27-year-old) Pippa. After all that Royal Wedding hoopla, guess thin really isn't in ...
Everybody knows I love Pippa Middleton, but, man, this is refreshing. It seems like it's always the same (or same looking) under 50, uber-thin crowd winning all the superficial awards. Jennifer Aniston just nabbed the Decade of Hotness Award. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is FHM's Sexiest Woman in the World. And just last year, Scarlett Johansson was crowned GQ's Babe of the Year. Aside from the horrible message this sends to females everywhere, it was getting kind of boring.
Women must be so relieved to see a lady that, well, looks like them winning one of those idiotic "hotness" awards. See, you don't have to do Pilates 14 times a week and "juice fast" to be desirable. Not even a little. In fact, go for that second helping at dinner tonight. You just might win yourself an award.
Of course, this doesn't mean eat twelve pounds of linguine with clam sauce then sit on your rear of the year watching Bravo. Strike a balance. No obsessing over every last calorie, and no not giving an eff at all.
But the biggest thing of all -- something that we can all learn from Carol (from the looks of her photos, at least -- go on, Google Image her) -- is confidence. I hate to say it because it sounds nauseatingly cheesy, but it's true. If you own your body and strap on a solid pair of Spanx, anything is possible.
What do you think of Pippa losing out to Carol for Rear of the Year?
Image via Ian Gavan/Getty