Yessssss! Summer is here! Time to get into the water and not get out until Labor Day, am I right?
What? There are things beyond the shores and poolsides worth doing? Pshaw. If you insist. But really there are only 4 good reasons to get out of the water:
1. If you want to actually wear your contacts. Wearing those vision improving miracles in a pool is one thing. Wearing them in a lake or river is like asking a little bacteria named Acanthamoeba to take up residence in your eyes. But when you asked him to leave, he's not so good at listening. Skip!
2. To have sex. Nothing sounds less sexy than a busted condom, but guess what the chlorine of a pool does to latex? You guessed it. And that's only the tip of the iceberg with this one. Water tends to wash away a woman's natural lubricant, making for some of the most uncomfortable sex she's ever had.
3. To go to the bathroom. It should go without saying, but have you ever looked at one of those Internet purity tests on Facebook? See where everyone gets 1/2 a point for "peeing in a pool" ... and noticed EVERYONE has a score that ends in 1/2? G-rossssss. Apparently even Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps has copped to a little sprinkle while he swims, but that just means he's spreading his germs. So let's break it down. Chlorine in the pool does NOT kill the contamination. In lakes, rivers, the ocean, once again, your buddies are all swimming in your urine. Don't be that guy or gal. Just don't.
4. To get a drink. The chlorine keeps most (repeat, most) people from taking in a swallow of pool water, but the creepy stuff in most lakes and rivers can't be identified by taste. It's the kick to the stomach that you feel later. Do yourself a favor. Unless you've gotten a rating from the local municipality letting you know there are no pathogens in the water, climb out and grab the bottled stuff.
Will you be settling into the water for a long summer?
Image via horia varlan/flickr