woman beach thighs liposuctionFull disclosure: After I dropped some weight in my late teens, my mom said that maybe, if my most rigorous workouts didn't do much to combat the "thunder thighs" (a junior high taunt, of course) my DNA "cursed" me with, maybe we could consider liposuction. I know she meant well, and I've actually taken her offer seriously on occasion -- particularly when all those squats have translated to ... well, squat. But today is a new day! I may never consider lipo again. Because apparently, you can't actually fool Mother Nature.

According to new research out of the University of Colorado, non-obese liposuction patients who had fat deposits removed from one part of their body (specifically their thighs and lower abdomens) saw the fat reappear in their upper body (specifically the upper abdomen and triceps of the upper arms). Sounds like cosmetic surgery karma to me!

As cunning as we think we're being by running off to go under the knife and re-work what our genetics gave us, it sounds like anyone who opts for lipo plays the fools in the end. Not to mention the side effects of lipo like shock, infections, uneven appearance, and scarring. But who caaaaares -- what kind of price is that to pay when you can be SKINNIER?!

Ugh. (Note the sarcasm.)

According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, Americans underwent 200,000 liposuction procedures last year, making it the fourth most popular form of cosmetic surgery. Is anyone actually surprised by this? Women of all ages and sizes lament their flabby thighs, cellulite, too flat or too fat ass, etc. and then wish that maybe there's a way to take the fat out of said disappointing area and inject it elsewhere! Like into their breasts! Or their faces! But try as we might, pricey procedures like that breed short-term results at best. Now, as for straight-up lipo, who would take the chance that sucking fat out of their lower belly "pooch" could lead to flabby upper arms, aka "bat wings," or a muffin-top?

Oh, apparently some women would. The Colorado study found that even when members of a control group learned that others had gained fat back in odd places, more than half of them opted to have their own lipo. Drrr. Seriously, ladies?!

When the fat comes back -- and it will -- it'll serve 'em right. We'd all do well to just stick to the gym, eating right, and -- gasp! -- learning to love ourselves and live with that not-so-ideal cellulite or normal patch of lower abdominal fat that every woman has. Because obviously, an expensive surgical procedure isn't the fix.

What's your stance on liposuction? Would you trade your lower belly or thigh flab for a muffin-top and arm fat?


Image via Tony Alter/Flickr