Why Women Can't Drink, Lose Weight, or Have Sex Like Men

Maressa Brown
21

woman drinkingResearchers really seem to want to stick it to us women. According to science, we're so different from men biologically that we're not able to hold our liquor as well, lose weight as efficiently, or get turned on as easily as they can! Of course we are oh-so-lucky to be the ones who bring babies into this world, but you'd think we could get cut a little slack in the other, "fun" aspects of life. Sadly, that's not the case.

Here five ways we're getting screwed biologically, simply because we're women ...

1. Drinking is more toxic to our bodies. There are a slew of excuses for why women are the lush-ier of the sexes. The truth is that although alcohol is metabolized by the liver at the same rate in both genders, we get the short end of the stick when it comes to the concentrations of alcohol reaching our livers. That's because doctors are reporting that we hold less water in our bodies. That means we end up with a higher blood concentration of alcohol after the same amount of booze ... and in turn, our livers are damaged more quickly by those Jaegerbombs, or whatever. Boo. This is not good news for those of us who love Happy Hour!

2. We can't lose weight as easily. As annoying as drugstore diet supplements are, those hand-drawn cartoon SlimQuick commercials are onto something. If you and your honey both start a healthy eating and exercise regimen, chances are he's going to shed his pounds much more quickly than you. That's because men have more muscle, thanks to their stores of the macho hormone testosterone. It is in their DNA to have a higher percentage of muscle and less fat -- which works in their favor when it comes to staying fit. Plus, it allows them to eat more calories. Oh, and we have more estrogen, which basically acts like a fat magnet. Argh -- I knew there was a reason my boyfriend could put away all those BBQ wings and somehow avoid getting a beer belly, while I glimpse at them and feel my thighs getting wider. Darnit!

3. When it comes to sex, we're not in sync. Ever have trouble shutting your darn thoughts down and just being in the moment? Yeah, well, guess it goes with the territory ... and it's not really a boon in bed. Apparently, our minds and bodies respond differently to sexual arousal, whereas men's bodies and minds are in tune with one another. (Obviously, because they are actually capable of thinking with their manhood!) In other words, we might think something's hot, but that doesn't necessarily send blood flowin' to our ladyparts. I guess you could say that's just because we're more complex ... but it's also kinda feels like we're getting short-changed!

4. We can't quit smoking as easily. My parents, the ex-hippie Boomers that they are, buy organic and live green ... except they can't seem to quit smoking. Every time my dad says she's gonna quit, my mom jumps on the bandwagon, and vice-versa. Too bad it's actually harder for my mom to quit than my dad. That's because a woman's menstrual cycle affects tobacco withdrawal symptoms and responses to anti-smoking drugs may vary by cycle phase. What's more, nicotine replacement therapy may not even be as effective for women.

5. We handle stress differently. Thanks to the release of the "cuddle" hormone, oxytocin, we often deal with stress by seeking support to talk out the emotional experience, to process what is happening and what might be done. Although this sounds great, it can actually come back to bite us. Our caring nature puts us at risk for prioritizing others' needs over our own, allowing them to determine our limits, and letting our own needs fall by the wayside. Hence, stress management FAIL.

Man, sometimes it seems like guys have it so much easier, huh? But hey -- at least there's one thing they don't have on us ... LONGEVITY! Ha! Yep, I guess that's our pay off. We can't party as hard as men, but we get to live a longer life.  And once I get into the golden years, I might just say, "Yeah, I'm a woman, and I'm goin' to town with all of the above!"

What biological difference between women and men annoys you the most?

 

 

Image via David Boyle/Flickr

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