JWoww Wants to Get Kristen Stewart in Her Bed

Julie Ryan Evans
11

JWowwJWoww has a new bed, and of anyone in the world, it's Kristen Stewart with whom she'd like to share it. Well, either that or hold her down and spray tan some color onto the vampire vixen. That's right, the Jersey Shore tanning whore has her own new tanning bed and a line of tanning lotions, and she's out to bronze up the masses.

When Entertainment Tonight recently asked which celebrity she thinks would look better with more color, she responded:

I would definitely pick Kristen Stewart from Twilight. I’d love to hold her down and spray tan her, and see what she would look like.

Now with her own bed, JWoww (I still can't believe the world agrees to call her by this ridiculous name) doesn't have to get so aggressive, she can just invite Stewart over for a quick little bit of fake baking. Who says Snow White can't have a tan, right?

JWoww is so excited about her new bed and the ability to tan on demand in the privacy of her own home that she even recently tweeted a picture of it, along with a message: "My new tanning Bed!!! Thank u Australian Gold! Omg so sick!" (Australian Gold is the company that produces her line of tanning lotions and bronzers.)

JWoww's tanning bed

Yes, sick. Sick with cancer is exactly what tanning will make you. But who cares about that when it's her "lifestyle"? “I feel sexier when I tan. I feel more fit. I feel more healthy,” she told ET.

Gah! There are a lot of things about Jersey Shore that horrify me -- oh so many -- but perhaps none as much (or at least more than) as the touting of tanning by America's most famous guidos and guidettes. Skin cancer is the most common form of cancer in the United States, and tanning is a direct cause of it. To glorify it makes me and my pale skin nuts! From the CDC:

In 2007 (the most recent year numbers are available):

  • 58,094 people in the United States were diagnosed with melanomas of the skin, including 33,041 men and 25,053 women.
  • 8,461 people in the United States died from melanomas of the skin, including 5,506 men and 2,955 women.

I'm sure JWoww knows these facts -- or something along the lines of them -- but doesn't care, just like all the other people out there who risk their health for the sake of beauty (or at least their idea of beauty). But it kills me that they do, and it may kill them one day too.

One factor JWoww may not have considered yet, however -- is she going to need an adaptor for her tanning bed when Jersey Shore heads to Italy?

Do you ever tan? Do you think JWoww is sending a bad message?


Imagea via plixi

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