Sarah Palin Workout Could Make You a Sexy Mom Too

Jeanne Sager
19

Sarah PalinSarah Palin was picking on Michelle Obama this month: so why should you be surprised?

Sarah Palin is one sexy mom of five. So sexy that it's hard to take seriously her attack on the First Lady's Let's Move program to fight obesity. Obese America, we hate to break it to you. The Mama Grizzly did not say you have a "God-given right to be fat" on the Laura Ingraham show. What she really said:

Instead of a government thinking that they need to take over and make decisions for us according to some politician or politician's wife's priorities, just leave us alone, get off our back, and allow us as individuals to exercise our own God-given rights to make our own decisions and then our country gets back on the right track.

So if you really want to live like Sarah Palin, you need to work out like she does

With this exercise program, you will be looking like a "real American hero" in no time:

Seeing Russia. Flex your calf muscles with this workout that lets you stand at a window and get up on your tippy toes to spy on those Ruskies. Can be done from any window in Alaska.

The Hockey Mom. Get your lipstick ready, we're going to chase down a pitbull. If you can wrestle him to the ground and get a red smear on that snout, you've probably burned a good 500 calories. Be warned, he might bite.

Gun Lifts. Load your rifle with as much ammo as it can carry, then string a couple of rounds around your neck for added resistance.

Cookie Giveaways. Work biceps while rolling out sugar cookie dough and inserting and removing cookie sheets from the oven. Then get a run in while visiting schools in "nanny states" that have banned homemade goodies from schools. Leave cookies at said schools to resist all future temptations. Who cares if the kids get fat? You won't.

Refudiation. It burns a lot of mind calories to keep changing the subject in an effort to try to befuddle reporters ... and then blaming them for getting it wrong.

Dancing Critiques. Lead your family in dancing practice to help you gain world domination by training for future roles on Dancing With the Stars. Develop arm strength from pushing them around.

 

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