Why Naked Scanners Thrill Me


airportMy name is Jeanne Sager, and I have a message for the TSA. Shoot a picture of me naked. Just don't touch my cha cha.

In fact, I'm kind of tired of the OMG, a person I'll never see again in my life will see a distorted image that looks vaguely like my naked body rants that are crawling all over the Internet. The union for two major airlines has even told pilots not to go through the X-ray backscatter scanners. They want them to opt for the pat-downs.

Say what?

The health risks of the machines aside (because let's face it, if you're like the average, ahem, broke American, you aren't going through these things very frequently), the risks of someone seeing you nekkid for five seconds far outweigh the possibility of some post-traumatic "he touched me in my private parts" stress.

Most of us have had it a lot worse. We strip down for our doctors, and if you're a woman, you then have to lie there in a cold room with your legs open while he sticks something metal in your crotch.

My doctor leaves the room so I can get undressed, and again so I can get re-dressed. I'm not sure why he bothers. He gets at least to second base for the breast exam and he sticks his fingers in my you-know-what. Him seeing me naked is the least of my problems.

Seeing him later in the grocery store, well, that's another issue.

Thankfully I don't live near an airport. The TSA people are never going to see me again, save for maybe on the return leg of my vacation trip. And with the gazillion people going through there, I doubt they're going to peg me out as that woman with the weird cottage cheese thighs from the monitor. That is if they can even see that I have cellulite.

But that pat-down gives me the heebie jeebies. Right on the TSA website they warn it's just this side of a porn flick: "In order to ensure security, this inspection may include sensitive areas of the body."

And unlike my yearly long sigh followed up by my phone call to the OB/GYN's office for my annual, we're not volunteering for this displeasure. They can stick their hands up where the sun don't shine, and we're supposed to take it. No disrespect to rape victims, but this comes perilously close to unwanted sexual something. If not rape then at the very least touching without consent.

I'm not crazy about going naked in front of someone other than my husband or my OB/GYN either. But if you pit one second, one shadowy image, against the indignities of someone running their hands over my private parts, I know which one gets my vote.

What about you?


Image via kanegen/Flickr

body image, breasts


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RanaA... RanaAurora

I'm with you... mostly. But I'm still not convinced of the safety of the backscatter machine, but I admit to not having done a ton of research on it either.

bills... billsfan1104

I never really agree with you OP, but this is a hilarious funny way of squashing the TSA stuff. I thought it was funny. I dont fly enough to really care if they pat me down or if I go through the scanners. Personally, I believe that the TSA agents could care less about people and I am sure that they dont like touching someones woo-haw or dingleberries. THink about how they feel. They have to protect us from terrorists, they have to hear the rath of angry fliers yelling and cussing them out and accusing them of molestation, and then to top it off, they have to pat you down. They have a thankless job, and I feel sorry for them

hotic... hoticedcoffee

I'm against both the pat down and the scan, because both are invasive, the back-splatter one is probably dangerous, and they are POINTLESS.  There are unscanned, unsearched people making their way on to every commercial plane - the guys that load the luggage, do a repair, load the galley, change out the pillows and blankets, etc etc etc aren't searched or scanned. 


bills... billsfan1104

WHAT is the back-splatter?/ That is one that I havent heard of

Accor... AccordingToLia

I think the concern has far more to do with safety than modesty.  Truth is, the machines have not been adequately tested.  A lack of information regarding their impact on a developing fetus, prolonged exposure for those who fly frequently, or how effective they truly are is concerning.


lovin... lovinangels

So the fact that naked pictures of people have appeared on the internet is not a big deal for you? Really? Your daughter, your little girl, naked, for some pervert to wack off to?

Good for you. I'm still writing my Congressmen.

lovin... lovinangels

oh, and check out this little gem. It's very "thrilling."

lovin... lovinangels

Oh, and my answer to your question is, neither.

I have committed no crime. I have a fourth amendment right to that prevents unreasonable search. I have not commited a crime that suspends that right, and buying a plan ticket doesn't trump my Constitutional rights. What I am doing is writing my Congressmen in an effort to encourage him to follow New Jersey's stand, along with the ACLU, in order to FORCE the TSA to find an appropriate way to do their job. Neither of these is acceptable, so they need to go back to the drawing board. 

Accor... AccordingToLia

lovinangels-  I agree with you that this new advancement could easily be abused.  I am uncomfortable with the lack of adequate safety trials.  However, I'm not sure your application of the Bill of Rights is correct.  People are constantly misrepresenting what the Bill or Rights actually entitle and entail.  Children under the age of 18 attending school do not have unlimited free speech (something that has been in the news recently regarding bullying and backlash) and body scanners being used as a security measure on people who have made the choice to purchase an airline ticket is not technically a violation of 4th amendment rights.  People still have the choice not to fly.  Flying as a mode of travel is a not a guaranteed right, therefore infringing on the perceived correct security methodology is not a violation of a constitutional tenant. 

lovin... lovinangels

Lia, I would agree with you if the TSA was not a government agency, and therefore must act within the bounds of the Constitution. This is not a private company making rules for use of their business, this the government making rules for the use of a private industry, and they are bound by the Constitution.

The state of New Jersey and the ACLU are already working on this as a Constitutional issue, and I'm encouraging my reps to get on board.

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