saltRemember when we could eat whatever we wanted, and the only one layering on the guilt was our friendly neighborhood family doctor? Ah, those were the days.

Before San Francisco told parents they don't know a chicken nugget from their behind, and before the City of New York decided they wanted to cause mass depression. As if it wasn't bad enough they now require calorie content labeling everywhere you turn, they're targeting sugar intake by banning sweet drinks from food stamp users' purchases, and now they're trying to kick the salt to the curb.

Coming soon: travel agents booking trips to the Big Apple from Weight Watchers meetings.

Eating in Manhattan used to be fun. It's the gastronomic capital of the Northeast (if not the entire U.S.). Now they can't decide what's worse: sugar, fat, salt, or letting an American pave her own way to a heart attack.

Any guesses, America? We're wagering it's number four that scares them the most, and here's proof: the latest campaign -- which has put warnings that salt "can lead to heart attack and stroke" -- is funded in part by the federal government. They're going to save us all from ourselves!

But even if they manage to protect us from heart attack and stroke with the salt, from diabetes with the sugar, and from being a walking, talking tub of fattiness with the calorie counts, are they really going to solve our problems?

When I walk into a cupcake shop in New York, I get a major case of the blues. In town for just one day, I want an indulgence. Instead I get to stare at a placard warning this apple cinnamon delight with cream cheese frosting has no less than 640 calories. Gee, New York, here I thought the presence of apples made it good for me. And now I can't even get the smile I was gunning for with my solitary cupcake indulgence (earned after walking miles in the city to avoid cab fare).

If you don't know a cupcake is bad for you, I'm guessing you probably haven't had your blood pressure or your cholesterol checked lately anyway. And you're probably going to town on a bottle of sugar-laden soda as I write this. You're kind of a lost cause.

But at the end of the day, all these programs will make you finally feel bad about the bad stuff you're eating. And guess what scientists found depressed people tend to do? Eat bad stuff. Yup, it's kind of like pot. Tell us it's no good for us, and we just want more of it.

Thanks New York!

 

Image via Casey Serin/Flickr