10 Signs It's Time to Shed a Friend

Julie Ryan Evans

BFFsUnfortunately, most of us have been there -- facing a situation in which you find yourself constantly wanting to tell your BFF to eff off.

She may have once been your confidante and most trusted source, but now she's more of a source of  frustration and negativity.

Is it time to break off your friendship?

No relationship is perfect, and all relationships have ups and downs, but sometimes it's necessary for your own mental well being to move on from a friendship.

I caught up with Irene Levine, psychologist and author of the book Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Break-Up With Your Best Friend, to get some expert advice on knowing when it's really time to call it quits.

Here are 10 signs it may be time ditch a friend:

1. Your friend is always critical and judgmental of you.

2. Your friend is self-centered, narcissistic.

3. Your friend is so needy that you can never do enough for her.

4. Your friend is unreliable.

5. Your friends is so jealous that she gets furious when you are with other women.

6. Your friend has poor judgment and does things that compromise her health and/or safety; you've tried to intervene but to no avail.

7. Your friend puts you in compromising positions.

8. Your friend is constantly negative and complaining.

9. You feel totally drained each time you're together.

10. The relationship is unequal; you are constantly on the giving end.

If you've nodded your way through most of the list, you know what you need to do. 

But now what? HOW do you move on?

Levine says small infractions can often be solved with a good, honest talk, but when it's more serious and really time to move on, you should do so clearly and directly without assigning blame.

"Above all, you want to do everything you can to let the person down gently -- and with grace. If you hurl insults at a friend or throw out ultimatums, there is no going back to the same level of intimacy. I often suggest that women take a friendship sabbatical, a rest from each other, to clarify their feelings."

And what if you're the one who gets dumped?

"Eventually, with time, you may feel angry until you reach a stage of acceptance. You need to get back on the horse again and make new friendships to fill the holes that the lost friendship has left in your life. Hopefully, each loss brings new wisdom that will make successive friendships more rewarding."

Do you have any friends you need to dump, or have you ever dumped a friend? Why?

Image via Liv G./Flickr

Read More