Teetotalling Is Ruining Your Life

wine glassTeetotalers, it's time to wipe that self-satisfied smirk off your face. You're ruining your own chances to have a long and happy life.

Heavy drinking has been found to extend your life expectancy. I'll raise a glass to that.

After all, the study in the new journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research supports everything The Stir has ever lapped up about the benefits of a boozy afternoon.


Drinking may pickle your liver, but have you ever found a jar of pickles in the back of the fridge? They're still good, aren't they?

Proving one thing is good for you doesn't always prove the inverse: that NOT doing so is bad for you.

But in this case, scientists have proven that abstaining from alcohol means a shorter life. Shorter even than your heavy drinking, pickled liver uncle who stumbles into the Christmas party and mumbles, "Where the egg nog?"

So what has it proven to me?

That the prune face is officially bad juju.

See, when I order ONE glass of wine with dinner, and you stick your nose in the air and suck on your teeth from one table over, you're doing the prune face.

And I'm enjoying a nice pinot, which brings out the flavor of the food. And my child is seeing me responsibly stick to one glass. AND my husband is driving home. 

And did I mention I'm going to live longer?

What's that old saying? Smile, it increases your face value? I'll drink to that.


Image via dicktay2000/Flickr

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