5 Facebook Friends to Dump Right Now

Unfriend someone on FacebookFacebook gets a lot of credit for changing our lives -- reconnecting adopted kids with their bio parents, giving moms an outlet for their poopy diaper stories, and of course giving single people everywhere another medium to find a date.

But for all the times Facebook is good for you, sometimes those Facebook friends are sucking the life right out of you.

Simply put: They're bad for your health.

Here's who to dump ... right NOW.


1. The Serial Dater

How to Spot One: Their love life is up. Then it's down. No, wait, it's up again! They should change the "relationship status" section to a flashing yellow triangle.

Why to Dump Them: Your heart can't take the stress. Give your blood pressure a rest; your pharmacist will thank you.

2. The Love Bug

How to Spot One: Usually newly in a relationship or under the age of 18, they actually know how to make the "heart" graphic, and they use it ... between every second word.

Why to Dump Them: To borrow a phrase from an Alicia Silverstone movie, they're so sweet they're giving you a toothache.

3. The Vaguebooker

How to Spot One: Their favorite phrase is "FML" (aka f--k my life) often followed by something equally designed to elicit your sympathy. See also: "wonder if it's worth living" and "why me?"

Why to Dump Them: Only one "FML" is acceptable in a month. After that, your shoulder starts to get a kink from all that leaning.

4. The Mole

How to Spot One: Suddenly your private information is being leaked -- usually twisted out of context and/or given directly to the wrong person -- and there's only one person who can be doing it.

Why to Dump Them: They're your friend like that guy who used to borrow your notes all the time in freshman seminar but never actually came over to help hang your pictures.

5. The Instigator

How to Spot One: Like a troll on a website, they are always online, and always commenting on people's status updates, links, and photos, but they never have anything nice to say.

Why to Dump Them: They're not worth the tissue you're crying into. Give yourself a break.

How many people did to cut off of your friend list?


Image via Facebook

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