I don't remember the last time I felt comfortable in my clothes.
Not when I was 115 pounds (13 pounds below my optimum weight for my height and body type).
Not when I was 9 months pregnant.
And certainly not when I was a size 6, with strong legs from regular 8-mile walks and decent arms from lifting my baby regularly.
I have an eating disorder.
Chances are: so do you.
Ours are different, it's true. I spent years in the bathroom, the shower running to mask the sound of my gagging, the regurgitation of a meal's worth of foods. I would be back in two hours to do it all again, after a binging cycle that could take out an entire box of Pop Tarts, a pint of Ben & Jerry's.
You may not throw up.
You may not have a diagnosis -- bulimia, in my case, complicated by depression.
I've spent decades feeling like a freak with my unyielding hunger, my quiet cries in the back of the changing room at the mall.
But you are probably like me -- just not to the extremes.
You don't feel right in your body. You think you're fatter than you are. You aren't a puddle on the floor, but you're not comfortable.
And scientists are starting to prove that people like me, we're the norm, not the exception.
Women, a new study found, see their bodies as 2/3 wider than they actually are. We're also misjudging our own heights -- setting off a complicated weight to height ratio visualization that will force a size 0 to whine to her friends that she's fat.
But I have to grudgingly afford her that belief today, because she's not rubbing it in. She's just like me.
Image via pink sherbet photography/Flickr