Sleeping on the Couch, Motherhood Dreams: Sleep Secrets

Jeanne Sager

Scout's Honor
Photo from Scout's Honor
Sleep -- we all do it, but talk about something personal! From side sleepers to wrapped in the covers on their tummy sleepers, we all do it differently.

We're delving into dreamland with moms' sleep secrets here on the The Stir, and today we're talking to Scout's Honor, mom of three who talks the personal and the political at the United States of Motherhood.

What are your best getting to sleep tips?

Not sure I should be giving sleep tips. Heh! I'm a notoriously poor sleeper. Wine used to be my best friend to get a good night's sleep. I've been diagnosed with early stage liver disease so now I abstain and count sheep instead.

Who's sleeping with you?

Sometimes I sleep with my husband CG if I actually fall asleep in our own bed, and sometimes I sleep with Seb on the couch.

Whoa! Don't go there. No open marriage. Seb is my older, mature ... pup who is my shadow. If I fall asleep watching House? He falls asleep by my side watching House. So my husband is a very light sleeper. He can't sleep if there's any light or noise.

Sadly these days? I can't sleep without lights and noise. I lied about counting sheep. Heh! I watch copious amount of mindless TV. Keeps the nightmares away ...

What's the strangest thing your partner/spouse has reported you doing during sleep?

I sleep talk and sleep walk when highly stressed. It wasn't my spouse, but once I walked in my childhood home as a teenager. I had my two older sisters and their husband and one older brother there.

It was "reported" that I once, with eyes wide open, walked up to the couch that they were watching a movie on, pulled down my pajama pants, and sat down. Must have been dreaming of relieving myself.

Luckily, I didn't actually relieve myself. Yep, hard to live down when my sisters and husbands could describe my bikini line. Ack! I also paced the bunks at Basic Training when I was in the Army. I would tighten everyone's bunks at 3 a.m. and scare the every living bejesus out of them.

Who steals the covers?

If I sleep in bed rather than fall asleep on couch? Me, totally me. I admit it.

How do you wake up in the morning, and how long does it take you to get out of bed? What's the first thing you do?

It depends. I wake up very quickly if a kid wakes me up. Adrenaline pumping. It's how I'm wired.

If it's my husband or the alarm clock? I'm a very deep sleeper. I often gasp five more minutes or just remain comatose. My college roommate lamented this fact. My alarm would often go off for 30 to 40 minutes at 5 a.m. before I woke up. Alarms just don't work for me usually.

Do you dream? Care to share one?

Yes, I dream. Almost always nightmares about my children. Losing my children. Someone killing my children. My children falling off cliffs, bridges, or planes in the sky. Men hurting my children. They get stuck in a loop over and over. Until I wake up, pace the floor, and hours later fall asleep.

I've found if I fall asleep with TV, it keeps my subconscious engaged so I can sleep. The downside? I can only do this downstairs because refer to light-sleeping husband who can't sleep with light or noise of any kind. There's also the fact that the coach doesn't sag like our mattress so my back and hip issues from old injuries and 10-pound babies are so much better on the couch.

Sigh ... there goes the sex life. Sadly? Yep, I have honestly referred to my bed as sand dunes on my blog United States of Motherhood.


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