Sleeping With Ira Glass, Flapping Boobs: Sleep Secrets

Jeanne Sager
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Jessica Gottlieb
Photo from Jessica Gottlieb
Sleep -- we all do it, but talk about something personal! From side sleepers to wrapped in the covers on their tummy sleepers, we all do it differently.

We're delving into dreamland with moms' sleep secrets here on the The Stir, and today we're talking to Jessica Gottlieb, author of the eponymous and hilarious blog Jessica Gottlieb, where she opines on pretty vaginas, Ann Coulter, and more controversy.

What are your best getting-to-sleep tips?

I'm a terrible sleeper. I mean, I sleep well, but I've got about a thousand weird habits that get me to sleep.

First of all, I absolutely must be lying on my right side. I absolutely must have a very long pillow under my left shoulder and it should reach all the way to the middle of my thigh. It cannot be a fluffy pillow, so when buying new pillows, I have to batter it into flat pillow submission before tucking it under me.

Unfortunately it gets weirder. I listen to This American Life on my iPod every night.

Yes, the sound of Ira Glass lulls me to sleep almost instantly. This is a very bad habit that I'm trying to break. If I'm ever driving and his voice comes on the radio, I worry that I will slip into a Pavlovian dreamlike state and crash the car.

Tips? Well, if you'll take advice from me, you'll take advice from anyone. I don't drink caffeine. Once in a blue moon I'll have a Diet Coke, but really sleep got better when I cut caffeine out of my diet completely. Also, I don't eat anything after dinner. I find that I sleep better this way.

Who's sleeping with you?

My husband -- the dog would love to sleep with us, but he cannot reach the bed.

What's the strangest thing your partner/spouse has reported you doing during sleep?

He says I'm very fidgety. I don't believe him though. I think he's trying to make me appear imperfect.

Who steals the covers?

No one. We're both so beat by the end of the day that we just collapse. Mr. G does say that I fidget, and that maybe I steal the covers ... but again, I don't believe him, and you shouldn't either. Just on this one topic. Okay?

How do you wake up in the morning, and how long does it take you to get out of bed? What's the first thing you do?

I wake up to NPR every morning (anyone see a theme here?). I used to have the alarm set for 6:50, but we would wake up to the financial news. Over the last few years I realized I was waking up with tremendous anxiety. Well, waking up to bad news every weekday is a bad plan.

The alarm is currently set for 6:45 and I know that if I'm not up by 6:50, I'm going to have to listen to the doom and gloom that is our financial news. I throw sweats on, wash my face, and brush my teeth so I can wake my kids up a few minutes later and start making breakfast and lunches.

Do you dream? Care to share one?

I almost always remember my dreams. My favorite dream is of flying. I found that I have this dream most frequently when I'm exercising a lot. Recently I dreamed (dreamt?) that I was flying over Beverly Glen Blvd, just at treetop level. As I approached Sunset Blvd, I realized I wasn't wearing a bra and my boobs were flapping like wings. I woke up feeling like I was falling.

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