4 Reasons My Dog Is Bad for My Health

Jeanne Sager

Photo by Jeanne Sager
A dog may be a man's best friend, but did you know he's bad for your health?

That's what scientists tell us anyway -- the CDC has analyzed emergency room data and determined Fido is a fall hazard.

More than 80,000 of us fall over our pets every year, and the vast majority of that number is the dog's fault. And you still let that thing sleep in your bed?

Don't get me wrong, I love my dog. Sometimes more than my husband (but just a little).

But let's face facts -- man's best friend is bad for your health:

1. She licks her butt. And then tries to lick my face. The real reason my husband and I have separate comforters -- so I can throw mine over my head when she bounds upstairs in the morning. That tongue is like a homing beacon and my face is apparently the missing aircraft.

2. She barks at the air. Which means either she's got super spidey sense and can tell there's something there that I can't (and would rather not know about) or she's just plain nuts. My money's on number 2, and I'm already on edge.

3. She likes being dressed up by my kid. Or at least she acquiesces to tutu necklaces and paper towel bridal trains. Tortured soul or canine waiting to snap?

4. Bottle her breath, and you're talking a weapon that could take out the NYC subway system. And I breathe that in every time she nuzzles my ear (read: gives me a wet willy)?

Of course she makes up for it by letting me cry into her velvet ears -- which is some good old-fashioned emotional support.

Are your pets bad for your health?

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