Among my favorite childhood memories is the Kids' Table. I come from a big family (five kids) within an even bigger family (my dad has 13 brothers and sisters). The grownups were always only too happy to seat us all at a separate table so they could actually have a civilized conversation with each other. And that was just fine with us! The last thing we wanted to have was a civilized conversation.

Ordinarily I'm all for families all eating together around the same table, but there are certain occasions when a kids' table is called for. Here are my kids' table guidelines. 

Thanksgiving is an -- if not the -- ultimate family holiday. So, for better or worse, we're stuck with our loved (or not so loved) ones for at least several hours of eating and drinking. Good times, yes, but it's only a matter of minutes before the dysfunctional behavior comes out. As Stephen Colbert once so wisely put it, "Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car." Yup! Sounds about right!

But hey, since it's generally par for the course, what can we do other than make the best of it? Here, some of the folks whose quirky, wacky, obnoxious, crazy behavior always seems to find its way to the Thanksgiving dinner table and who are best handled with a sense of humor ...

Yesterday, I was sent a group email asking me to list things I’m thankful for that aren’t traditional, like: "my family," "food on the table," etc. Other moms on the email tree were coming back with beautiful sentiments about new friendships, the help of strangers, and averting disasters.

I didn’t respond because everything I thought of seemed trite, superficial, and a tad less profound.  However, I did write a list, and frankly, I'll share it with you because these things totally deserve thanks in my book -- just refrain from saying them around the dinner table.

1. I am thankful for the dimmer switch in my bedroom.

2. I am thankful that I keep a pair of tweezers in my car.

3. I am thankful my daughter has not lost faith in the tooth fairy, and my son goes along with it.

4. I am thankful I didn't have an affair with the head of the CIA.

5. I am thankful for Homeland -- somehow that red-headed guy is really sexy?!

Thanksgiving is only two more days away, but if you're anything like me, then you've probably been way too preoccupied with planning the meal to think about how you're going to dress up your dining room table and make it look festive for the big feast.

But sometimes choosing an eye-pleasing centerpiece or place settings can be tough, because many Thanksgiving decor items go a little bit overboard with turkey and corn themes. And aside from that, they can also take a lot of time to put together.

Although retailers would have us believe the next few days are all about the gigantic, once-in-a-lifetime type sales we could get in on, we all really know Thanksgiving is about so much more. Ultimately, it boils down to gratitude and giving. It's so simple, but understandably easy to forget in the midst of all the cooking, parade-watching, family-gathering, stuffing our faces, football, midnight shopping, etc.

So, to remind us what the holiday really means -- and to help us express that -- here, 10 thought-provoking, moving, and witty Thanksgiving quotes about the often hectic, at times family drama-packed, but always colorful holiday. 

To say we are thankful for The Real Housewives of each and every city would be a gross understatement. Okay, every city except Miami, but overall, these ladies provide us with endless entertainment and, perhaps most importantly -- make us look incredibly sane next to their antics.

To think what we would have missed over the years had they never opened those gates to Coto de Casa in the first season of The Real Housewives of Orange County makes us incredibly grateful that they did. Without them we never would have heard such phrases as "thug in cocktail dress" or "prostitution whore," nor would we have been exposed to such dark places as Scary Island or strange creatures like Tareq Salahi.

Thanksgiving is a holiday that seems to be all about the turkey. The little kids make turkey handprints in pre-school, and the adults debate roasting vs. deep-frying. My fellow Americans, I'm about to lay some Thanksgiving news on you that may shock you. Thanksgiving is the perfect holiday ... for vegetarians.

Gotcha, didn't I? 'Tis the season for people to moan quietly about how they have that one vegetarian cousin coming to town who will throw a kink in their meal plans. But the truth is there's no better time than Thanksgiving to be a vegetarian.

Thanksgiving isn't nearly as easy as it probably used to be. Now with all the different types of turkeys you can buy and the fact that some turkeys are raised in extremely irresponsible, scary, even abusive ways that can make for a sick bird (and in turn, recalls and sick humans), we have to be even savvier as consumers. But even when we're determined to go out and get a responsible, healthy bird, it can be really, really difficult with grocery stores waving freebies and other incentives in your face. For instance, my almost mother-in-law just came home with a FREE turkey from the grocery store. She was so happy to report that it was "all natural." Face. Palm. Too bad any ol' turkey should be at the bare minimum all natural. It's a freakin' turkey!

So, in an effort to outsmart goofy, manipulative, meaningless food labels like "all natural," here's a round-up of the labeling you might find on turkeys this year and what it really means (or doesn't mean at all!) ...