Mom Blogger Gives Her Perfect Selfie a Bold Reality Check

tova leigh
Tova Leigh/Facebook
Mom blogger Tova Leigh isn't known for holding back -- she's gained a huge social media following for sharing her thoughts about just about anything (literally, her blog is called My Thoughts About Stuff). So when Tova came out on Facebook this week to admit her recent selfie was the result of 20 different attempts to get the "right" photo, and posted a look at what was going down behind the scenes, it's no surprise people reacted. 


What Tova didn't seem to expect? The outpouring of love for the image of her, as she describes, "in all [her] mum-tum, cellulitis, granny pants and absolutely zero thigh gap glory!"

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Tova Leigh
Tova Leigh/Facebook

"Not the perfect sexy body by some dictated standard, but imperfectly fabulous because it is real and it is mine," she writes.

Her post, which features the original "20 take" photo of Tova's face, plus a larger image of her whole body in undies and a corset and the hashtages #Fuckbodygoals and #keepingitreal, has generated more than 1,000 comments and more than 7,000 shares, most of which fall under the "thank you for being REAL" category, like this one:

facebook comment

Tova's being lauded for her bravery in sharing a photo that hasn't been cropped, airbrushed, and basically edited within an inch of its life, and she certainly deserves a hearty helping of applause. Not least because she's taking on a dangerous issue we all contend with, even when we don't realize it: the fakery that is social media. 

Scientists have found that logging on to catch up with our friends has a tendency to make us both jealous and depressed ... because we spend time looking at these carefully crafted versions of the people we think we know and love. 

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But it's all a sham, as Tova's viral post shows all too well -- at least two-thirds of us are lying our pants off on Instagram and Facebook both, posting photos that make life look better, writing witty statuses that took us hours (okay, minutes, but still) to craft. Nothing is spur of the moment. It's all plotted. It's all fake ... or at least "adjusted."

As Tova points out, "So next time you see a 'perfect' image on IG or FB that makes you feel bad, remember this: Social media is full of sh-t. You are beautiful just the way you are. And there is nothing sexier than being real."

The question is ... why do we waste all that time? Why do gorgeous moms like Tova spend all that time taking 20 photos to find the "perfect" selfie, when photos like the behind-the-scenes image she shared are not only equally beautiful but just as likely to forge a connection with friends and family?

And what is it we miss while we're spending all of that time trying to be some better version of ourselves? Even if it's just a few minutes, wouldn't the time we spend taking 20 selfies be better spent snuggling with our kids on the couch? Or catching a few more minutes of the last episode of House of Cards while the kids are asleep? Or Facebook messaging with a friend you haven't seen in weeks?

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The time we spend trying to make ourselves over for social media may make us feel better, but it doesn't make our friends or our families think any better of us ... at least not according to science.  

As Tova herself realized, thanks to her awesome fans, people aren't looking for an alternate version of you. They want you. The real you. That's why they became friends (or, in her case, fans) in the first place. 


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