13 Fly Infomercial Products From the '90s That We Totally Regret Not Buying

Caroline Olney | May 18, 2016 Good News

For all our love of Nickelodeon and Disney Channel Original Movies, we all know that infomercials were the true stars of '90s TV. Billy Mays in a blue button-up and the phrase "But wait! There's more" are two things forever burned into our memories -- and we have infomercials and the strange products they were trying to sell us to thank.

But for all the UroClubs and TiddyBears, infomercials gifted us with some truly ageless products -- and sadly, many are off the market for good. Here are the 13 infomercial products we saw in the '90s that we really, really should have bought when we had the chance.

 

Image via morrisonAV/YouTube

  • GLH

    1

    The BABES are back indeed! No, we're not aging rocker dudes with '90s-style tresses down to our shoulder pad-laden shoulders. But we are modern women with hair that isn't quite as thick enough as we wish it were, and we wish we had snatched up GLH (or "Good Looking Hair" for those not in the know) when we could.

  • No Wet Wonder Foam

    2

    So, no, we don't regularly rub shoe polish and soot into our carpets. And yet they're still that absurdly dirty, no matter how or how often they clean them. If only (if only!) we could get our hands on a No Wet Wonder Foam -- all of our carpet woes would be solved.

  • Snackmaster

    3

    The Snackmaster is nothing less than DIY Hot Pockets, and we honestly regret missing our chance with these babies every day of our lives. It cuts the crust off your sandwiches for you. COME. ON. Plus, at one point during the 10-minute infomercial, our host, Cathy, shoves cinnamon rolls in her grill press–like contraption. Cathy is obviously a genius. We should have listened to her.

  • Kitchen Wizard +

    4

    Don't even try to tell us that we can get fancier, better versions of these chopping/slicing machines now. There's something about the pure charm of the mid-'90s Kitchen Wizard (Plus!) that speaks to our nostalgia-fueled souls, and we miss it every day we don't have it.

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  • Thighmaster

    5

    If you're smart, you already have a Thighmaster in your personal fitness collection because Suzanne Somers convinced you to buy one in 1991. If you're not smart, you still regretting your mistake today. Like us. Oy. Our flabby thighs blame us to this day.

  • Bedazzler

    6

    By some strange twist of fate, rhinestones are still not totally out of style. And so, our one greatest regret: not buying a Bedazzler in 1996. That's 20 years of bedazzling we've missed out on, and it's entirely our own fault.

  • Topsy Tail

    7

    If we had a Topsy Tail, you bet our hair game would be 200 percent more on point. The flippy ponytail thing is the ultimate five-minute 'do, and we're about ready to see this trend come back.

  • Digi Draw

    8

    In an alternate universe where we bought a Digi Draw immediately upon seeing the infomercials in the '90s, we're professional artists who make livings essentially tracing other art with this genius product. It'd be like counterfeiting, but poorly done and with a hint of pure '90s charm. We'd be rich and famous, we just know it.

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  • Miss Cleo

    9

    Miss Cleo, the TV psychic and tarot card expert, would have helped us seen our true path back when we were just young'uns glued to after-hours TV, and God knows she would have saved us more than just heartbreak. What a blessing.

  • Exerlopers

    10

    Obviously, Exerlopers were genius from the very beginning. Designed to make running "fun" (and take the impact off your joints when bounding around), the straight fashion draw of Exerlopers should still stand today. We don't know what we'd pay to try a pair of these today, but we're guessing it's a lot more than four easy payments of $49.99.

  • Hair Made

    11

    Okay, yo. We were definitely joking about some of these products, but the Hair Made Hair Drying Stand we are 100 percent serious about. We don't even care how sad and lazy it'd look in our bathrooms -- this would have saved us some serious arm aerobics in our lives. Thankfully (like, truly thankfully) you can still buy one, if you know where to look.

  • Flowbee

    12

    Here we are, still paying $65 for hairbuts when we could have just been Flowbee-ing this whole time. If you have short white-person hair and are cool with attaching razors to a vacuum tube and putting it next to your head, then you should have bought a Flowbee in 1992 when you had the chance.

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  • Catch It

    13

    Catch It litter box cleaner is the only product we've ever come across that's literally named after cat sh*t, and for that alone, we wish we had bought it way back when. But speaking in terms of strict practicality, this poop scoop actually probably would have made us happier cat owners at some point along the line. 

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