6 Reasons Facebook Is Bad for Single Women

If you're a single lady, there's one place you should apparently avoid if you don't want to have an envy-induced nervous breakdown: Facebook! Seems rather counterintuitive given that so many people meet on the social networking site, but a social media expert says that logging into Facebook is bound to make single ladies barf with envy as their feed fills up with the love-filled antics of their paired-up pals. Author Zoe Strimpel told the Daily Mail:

What Facebook does is it enhances the sense that your life is lacking and specifically, when you are single, you focus in on all those pictures of perfect weddings, perfect babies, perfect couples.

Ohhh, how depressing. Here are 6 reasons single ladies need to avoid Facebook!


Engagements. The ultimate single lady slap in the face. You mean that friend who has only been divorced three days is engaged?! She's stealing all the men! (Antidote: Think about how sad it is that your friend can only manage to be alone for three days. She clearly needs help.)

Weddings. Okay, THIS is the ultimate slap in the single lady face. SHE got married? But I'm so much smarter, prettier, and more successful! How did SHE bag a husband?! (Antidote: Remind yourself that this isn't 1825 and single ladies have great lives. Besides, maybe she's a nicer person than you? Oh, and her husband isn't all that.)

Honeymoons. Arragh!! Bali! Cancun! Paris! How ecstatic they look! They had so much sex! Their lives are puuurrrrfect. (Antidote: Think about how they're too exhausted to have sex and how they only posted the happy photos -- they're probably arguing already.)

Gushing updates. Oh, yeah, those couples who are always tagging each other with mash notes like: "My honey made my favorite casserole tonight, rubbed my feet, and then watched Downton Abbey with me while our cat curled up between us. Could I be any luckier??!!!" (Antidote: Notice how they never post anything negative? No one lives like this. They are clearly doing some major cover for their horrible marriage! He hates Downton Abbey. And their cat always pukes on the couch.)

Valentine's Day. Pictures of flowers. Chocolate. Stuffed bunnies. (Antidote: She bought them for herself and posted them online because he totally forgot!)

Pregnancies. Oooh, she's pregnant. Five thousand people just gave her the thumbs up. I got three when I posted that I'd graduated medical school. (Antidote: Check back in nine months, when you'll start seeing those updates about 2 a.m. feedings, cradle cap, and how the hell can preschool cost $20,000? They're playing with blocks!)

Seriously, if you're single and Facebook updates are sending you into a tizzy of depressive envy, take your revenge by posting pics of your bikini bod on vacay in Maui, your latest date with that hot 27-year-old (rent one if you have to), and that hour-long bubble bath you indulged in. Singles aren't the only ones who get jealous!

Or, you know, just be happy for your friends.

Does Facebook ever make you jealous?


Image via toodlepip/Flickr

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