11 Ways Facebook Makes Me Feel Like a Jerk

There are so many ways that Facebook can change your life. Many of those are positive -- keeping in touch with long-lost friends, for instance. Many are negative -- like having an affair with said long-lost friend and imploding your marriage. But one thing I've lately noticed is the way Facebook has changed my mindset.

In the past, if I heard of someone I knew even a little was sick or had something bad happen, I would have sent a card, maybe flowers. For sure I would have gone around saying something like, "Didja hear about Amy?! I hope she's okay???" But now? Not so much. The problem is I now have almost a thousand Facebook friends, and I can also see all my friends' friends posts on their wall. That's a lot of people -- and a LOT of information. Frankly ... I just don't have time for all of it. And that's made me a wicked person. Here are 11 ways that Facebook makes me feel like a jerk.


1. A friend posts that they need prayers, thoughts, good energy, or other positivity due to some calamity. I take quick note and then scroll on. I've heard it all before.

2. A friend posts a photo of a sick animal and asks for help with its vet bills. I take quick note and then scroll on because I've already given so much damn money to causes like this, I'm tapped!

3. A friend posts a photo of her new baby. I note all of the "ooh" and "ahh" and "congrats" comments and then pass on. She knows the baby is cute. I'm so tired of babies.

4. A friend has a ton of birthday wishes on her wall. She doesn't need mine too.

5. A friend posts a clever quote. I don't tell her it's clever. Someone else will.

6. A friend is having a fundraiser or running for muscular dystrophy or some other disease. Worthy cause but so are the 30 others in my feed. Besides, this person never gives when I ask. Scroll down.

7. A friend's father, mother, sister, brother, or other relative needs prayers, wishes, good thoughts. Good wishes, I think, and don't post it.

8. A friend is complaining again about her job or relationship. I pass by and hope she gets the help she needs.

9. A friend's dog died. I don't have time to write anything so I do a quick thumbs up and then realize that seems like I wanted the dog to die.

10. A friend's cat dies. I send heartfelt condolences and end with the quote, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved a feline at all." Then I feel bad about the dog.

11. A friend has done something awesome. Finished a marathon. Published a book. My brain barely reacts. My fingers certainly don't.

Now don't get me wrong! I don't ALWAYS pass by requests for prayers. I don't ALWAYS ignore the celebratory post. And yes I DO give money to those in need.

I just can't do these things every single time I see them. Or I'd be doing it all day. It may not seem like it takes up much time to write "I'm sorry to hear that" or "congrats!" on someone's wall, but try doing it 20 or 30 times a day, every day. Soon you've got carpal tunnel. And people start accusing you of being unoriginal.

So ... Facebook. You've made me a cold-hearted bitch. But at least I have someone to blame it on.

Does Facebook ever make you feel like a jerk?


Image via Facebook

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