6 Ridiculous Things I Stress About on Facebook

Today I posted something on Facebook and a couple of friends responded and I liked one friend's comment. Because it was cute and funny and had to do with him saving a rabbit. And then my mind started churning. I started thinking about the other friend's comment and how I hadn't liked it, and whether she'd notice and be offended. And then I thought maybe I should go back and like her comment too. But then I thought maybe that would be setting a bad precedent -- and that I'd have to start liking everyone's comments and how that would take up too much time. And then I realized I'd just spent 10 minutes using up my precious life stressing about some stupid thing on Facebook. Arrrghhh!!!

Here are six ridiculous things about Facebook that make me stress.


Which comments to "like." Some people, I noticed, like all comments. Some people never like any comments. I tend to like only comments that are particularly funny or insightful, but that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate everyone's comments. But I can't sit there and like all day. I do have a life, though right now it sounds like I don't. I especially wonder about liking people's comments when they compliment me in a photo. If I like the compliment, does that make me arrogant? Damn you and your likes, Facebook.

Friending strangers. A lot of people wouldn't consider friending someone they don't know personally, but as a writer, I figure a lot of the strangers who friend request me probably read my stuff. But I don't know that for sure. I'd feel rude not friending a reader, but I've learned my lesson about friending just anyone. And unless a person's wall is public, you can't learn anything about how you might know this person. Which leaves me angsting over the eternal question that Hamlet also once asked himself, To friend or not to friend?

Wishing people happy birthday. Every day, at least three of my friends have birthdays. Do I put a birthday greeting on all their walls? If I did that, I'd be writing nothing but happy birthday all day. But will they notice if I say nothing? Is that rude? Will they ignore me on my birthday? Wait, no one can see my birthday. Why do people want everyone to acknowledge their birthdays??

Commenting on bad news. At least five or six times a day, someone writes some bad news. Lost their job, relative is dying or died, pet is sick, they're sick ... it never ends!! Before Facebook, I wouldn't have dreamed of not acknowledging someone's ill fortune or health problem. I probably would have sent a card or flowers. But now? I routinely scroll past people saying they're in the hospital, or asking for well wishes for someone else in the hospital, or that this or that person died. If I didn't, I'd be writing, "I'm so sorry to hear this" all freaking day long. Facebook, you've made me a callous and unfeeling person.

Disagreeing with a friend. So this is my Facebook buddy and I'm not even quite sure how I know this person or if I've even met them IRL, but somehow over the course of several months or even years, I feel like I know him or her through Facebook. And then she writes something I TOTALLY DISAGREE with, and I'm all, How did I get to be friends with this person?!! And then I angst over whether I should defriend or argue or ignore or what. All for a person I don't really know!!!

Parting with a dollar. Once was a time when I'd friend request someone and write a little personal note like, "Hi, we met at the such-and-such event," but now Facebook makes you pay a dollar if you want to do that. So I sit there wondering, Is this person worth a dollar? What if he or she doesn't friend me? Do I get a refund? Is this person worth giving Facebook my credit card information? God only knows what Mark Zuckerberg will do with it. Damn you, Facebook, for making me cheap and paranoid.

Do you ever stress about some stupid thing on Facebook?

Image via West.m/Flickr

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