Social Media Comes Out on Top in Sex vs. Facebook Showdown

In today's breaking news from No Shit Sherlock Central, it turns out people really like social media. You know, in case the fact that there are now a billion people using Facebook wasn't sort of a tipoff. But did you know people like social media more than cigarettes? More than sleep? More than SEX?

Researchers at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business report that their study, conducted on over 200 subjects, reveals that the desire to indulge in Facebook, Twitter, and other social media pastimes is consistently stronger than other urges. Such as, you know, a little of the old wink-wink nudge-nudge say no more say no more.

Checking Facebook is more appealing than sex, you say? Well, sure, it CAN be. It's all about the context, right? I mean, let's compare and contrast a few potential situations in which you might (or might not) prefer social media over the mattress mambo:

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A dutiful blowjob because you don't feel like taking your pants off
-- VS --
A hilarious picture of a photobombing stingray

WINNER: Facebook

Two hours of mind-blowing multi-orgasmic sex with no interruptions
-- VS --
Scrolling past yet another shared Someecard image

WINNER: Sex

A paranoid quickie during the kids' nap time
-- VS --
Seeing a current photo of the most bitchy cheerleader from high school, and she looks like Jabba the Hut

WINNER: Facebook

Crazy hot on-top action with a vibrator (say hello to my little friend!)
-- VS --
Evidence that someone's toddler finally pooped in the potty (say hello to my BIG GIRL!)

WINNER: Sex

Sex after a day of laundry, dishes, meals, cleanup, work, and having kids crawl all over you, and also you're PMSing
-- VS --
Anything on Facebook. Like, seriously, even political bullshit.

WINNER: Facebook

I'm just saying, I'm not terribly shocked that a survey revealed that there are lots of times when clicking around on social media sounds better than jumping under the covers. The real world isn't always quite like Fifty Shades, am I right?

Have you ever picked Facebook over facetime, if you know what I mean -- and I think you do?


Image via charlesdyer/Flickr

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