7 Signs You Are Taking Facebook Way Too Personally

I will never forget the time that I posted as a status update on Facebook: "You should be willing to marry a man in a dive bar and not just at an expensive, fancy venue." To my astonishment, three people emailed me privately, defending the person they'd married and where they'd gotten married. Each person thought my status update was directed toward them. You know, like some people think the actors on TV are talking to them.

In reality, my update was about Kim Kardashian, who had said that day that she'd gotten "caught up" in the wedding hoopla and married a man (Kris Humphries) she shouldn't have. Since Kim was all over the news at the time, I thought it was obvious my update was about her. But apparently not. This is when I first realized -- and I've been reminded of it many times since -- that some people take Facebook waaaaaaay too personally.

Here are 7 signs you are taking Facebook too seriously.


You find yourself stewing about updates, thinking they're about you. Chances are if someone's update reflects something going on in your life, it was just a coincidence -- especially if you don't know that person very well. I'm not saying that some people don't use their status to passive-aggressively comment on other people's lives. I'm just saying this is not always the case. Ask yourself why you are so convinced this update is about YOU, and whether or not you are being just a touch paranoid.

You cut off real world friendships because of Facebook posts. If you don't like someone's update or news or links, just defriend quietly or block them from your feed. No need to destroy real world relationships over Facebook. No need to send someone you may have an actual relationship with a long tirade because you didn't like something they posted (as actually happened to me recently).

You can't say anything interesting or clever without posting it to Facebook. Just like those who think their relationship isn't "real" until it's reflected in their relationship status, there are those who can't utter the slightest thing without then posting it as an update. Whatever they said can't be "real" unless it gets a thumbs up. It's okay to speak (preferable really) and not post.

Getting into arguments on Facebook. I've been guilty of this myself a few times, but I try not to do it. Someone posts something you disagree with, you reply, someone else replies, and the next thing you know, it's a thread free-for-all. Just calmly post why you disagree and then move on.

You check someone's wall at least once a day. Whether it's your spouse, friend, former friend, ex, or boss, if you are checking someone's wall every day, especially if you are looking for something negative, you need to reconsider why you are doing this and if it's healthy.

Judging people based on Facebook. I've been guilty of this one too. There is someone I think is interesting and whom I might like to meet in real life, but then that person's updates begin annoying me, so I dismiss the idea of real world friendship. A person is not the sum total of their FB posts. (Unless their posts are truly wacky, then steer clear.)

You email anyone about Facebook. If you are set to send someone a private email based on something that person posted, sit on it for at least 24 hours. Personally, I think any time you are tempted to email someone about what you see in their feed (unless that person seems depressed or suicidal and you want to reach out or you are answering a query, say, from someone looking for an apartment), you are taking FB too personally.

Have you ever taken Facebook too personally?

Image via English 106/Flickr

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