Man's Plan to Get Wife Drunk So He Can Use Facebook Goes Horribly Awry

beerI won't name names, but I know a couple whose relationship pretty much disintegrated thanks to World of Warcraft. The dude locked himself in his room and played the game all day, while the girl sat on the couch watching new and old episodes of The Bachelor alone. It was bad. Eventually, and rightfully, they broke up, and while the cause of death wasn't specified as "World of Warcraft," Girl and I know what's up.

Now, Facebook is the new World of Warcraft.

A Florida man named Doyle Hardwick wanted to peruse the social networking site in peace. But his pain-in-the-arse 54-year-old wife was there, cramping his style. So he did what any adult would do in such a situation. He fed her eight beers in hopes that she'd pass out and leave him to his own devices. And when she didn't, he called the police on her. The police, I say!


When the cops showed up -- and Hardwick gave them his reasoning ("[She] was supposed to go to sleep after [I] gave her the beers because that was the agreement," and "I just wanted someone to make my wife do what I wanted her to do."), they arrested him for the misuse of 911 and doled out a 60-day jail sentence (which, shockingly, he didn't show up for). Fun fact: Hardwick was also arrested last year for the same crime, after continually phoning up police to say that "neighbors were defecating into old vehicle fuel tanks for the past three weeks."

Honestly, I don't know why Hardwick couldn't just tool around on the website in front of his wife, but regardless of that -- and regardless of this man's ... odd decisions -- Facebook is kind of a problem in some relationships. Just like World of Warcraft.

How many crimes have we heard of (and reported on on this here site) this year alone on that stemmed from something having to do with Facebook? Whether it was a defriending; someone didn't like someone else's status; or two people met up through the site who shouldn't have -- it's gotten out of control. It's a website, people. A stupid, social networking site that's supposed to be fun. And in the vein of World of Warcraft, it's not supposed to rule your life. Get it together.

Have you ever gotten into a fight over Facebook?

Image via Dinner Series/Flickr

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