Sharing Passwords With Your Husband Is Risky Business

computer keyboardThere's a new trend where lovesick teens are engaging in risky email password sharing with boyfriends and girlfriends as the ultimate sign of trust and disclosure that they are not cheating on them. Interesting. Don't these kids watch TV? Don't they know that this is a disaster waiting to happen? As soon as these 14-year-olds break up -- and most of them will break up -- their ex is going to be hacking into their accounts and broadcasting all their private messages to the world on Facebook and the web. While this is obviously a very bad idea for teens, email password sharing takes the discussion in an entirely different direction when talking about whether adults who are married or in committed relationships should also be sharing passwords.

No way! But for an entirely different reason.


I've given my husband my email passwords -- not as a sign of trust but simply as a matter of convenience. I've been away from a computer and called home to ask him to look up directions in an email or grab a phone number, and vice versa. He doesn't choose to have a Facebook account for various professional reasons, but will frequently go on mine to see what his friends (also my friends) are up to and even send them messages (from my account using my name -- but signing them with his name).

I'm not sure what divulging email or social media passwords for "trust" reasons accomplishes. Even if I have his email passwords (and I do), I would never in a million years go into his account to randomly "snoop around" if I had a suspicion. I'd like to think I would just ask him. Respecting each other's privacy in relationships is just as important as trust.

Hopefully, couples today don't live their entire lives online and still have "friendships" offline. I don't tell my husband everything that my friend and I talked about over lunch, and neither does he. It would probably be 80 percent boring to hear, but the rest might be totally benign stuff I just don't want him know and have a right to share or withhold from whoever I want. It would be akin to him fitting me with a secret spy microphone recording everything I talk about when I'm not with him. He shouldn't be reading my private emails, suspicions or not.

As soon as I find out that he is, I'm changing my password.

Does your spouse know your password -- why or why not?


Image via GoodNCrazy/Flickr

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