Dennis Rodman's Topless Basketball Idea Is Painfully Wrong for Women

Dennis RodmanThere are very few has-been athletes who could get away with proposing a topless women's basketball team and not get everyone completely up in arms about it. But when it's Dennis Rodman, suddenly it makes a little more sense.

He wants to be the coach for the lady team he's recruiting for Headquarters Gentlemen's Club. He got this idea from, naturally, a rival strip joint, called Rick’s Cabaret, which launched a topless league with former Atlanta Hawk Spud Webb. How else were you supposed to entertain fans during the NBA lockout? Rodman's even recently challenged Rick’s Cabaret’s team to play against his.

I'm gonna go take a shower now.

Men may love the idea, but the ladies? The last thing most women would ever want to do is play a sport with absolutely no ... support. Ouch!

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Clearly a woman's comfort during gameplay is no concern for Rodman. He's already kicked off his search for women to participate, starting at Headquarters (where he's been a customer for over 30 years). He's holding auditions next week there; girls who are under 5'10" -- and I'm assuming an A or B cup -- need not apply.

Here's Rodman's Pulitzer-worthy advice if you're worried that you don't play much basketball: "You don’t have to have too much experience, just know how to throw the ball into the hole." If this sounds like something right up your alley (and, um, I promise, no judging here ... OMG where are your parents?!), you'd get to wear shorts, skimpy T-shirts or tank tops, and sneakers, but when the game starts, the tops have got to go.

I'm in the flat-chested girls' club, yet I still can't imagine anything quite as painful as having to run up and down a basketball court, jumping and pivoting and turning every which way without a sports bra. It's just not right. Maybe it'd be more realistic if it were only a free-throw tournament, or if Rodman were a tad bit more open-minded and had men play in the buff (wouldn't it be a lot less painful for them? Well, maybe not ... ). But, at the very least, I'd hope, for individuals with half a conscience, watching fake boobs bouncing around while the players clutch their chests and backs in pain wouldn't be the most appealing way to spend a night out. Might be kinder to head to the strip club for some gentler athletics instead.

What do you think about topless women's basketball?

 

Image via OPEN Sports/Flickr

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