Tim Tebow Might Win the Super Bowl But He's No God

tim tebowThen Tim Tebow said "Let there be light" and there was light. And Tim Tebow saw that the light was good. And Tim Tebow ...

Wait, wait, wait. Something's off about that bible passage ... oh yeah! Tim Tebow is not, in fact, a god! Duh. Still, can you blame me? It's an honest mistake.

Look, before you start freaking out at me for dissing Tebow, I'm actually defending him. Because even though Rabbi Joshua Hammerman finally just apologized for his outrageous claims about the holy war that would ensue if Tebow should lead the Broncos to Super Bowl victory, he still made those claims. And they were CRAZY!

Oh, you didn't hear? Well, I'm just going to have to tell you what the Rabbi said, because it's too good to miss ...


In his colum for "The Jewish Week" (which has since been pulled by Hammerman's editors, who were like, WTF?? His words, not ours!) the Rabbi wrote:

If Tebow wins the Super Bowl, against all odds, it will buoy his faithful, and emboldened faithful can do insane things, like burning mosques, bashing gays and indiscriminately banishing immigrants.  While America has become more inclusive since Jerry Falwell’s first political forays, a Tebow triumph could set those efforts back considerably.

Really? REALLY? He also said:

A poster boy of the Christian right, Tebow steadfastly thanks Jesus after every game and, while in college, often inscribed biblical messages on his eye paint. Homeschooled in Alabama, this child of missionaries turned down his selection as a Playboy All American because it was, well, Playboy.  His trademark prayerful touchdown celebration (imagine Rodin’s “Thinker” on bended knee, or your grandfather davening Tachanun with a football) has become a verb.  Google “tebowing” and you’ll find 84 million hits, including lots of YouTube parodies.  Tebow’s mother, a Baptist missionary, became comatose during her pregnancy and was saved by drugs that nearly killed the fetus.  Doctors anticipated a stillbirth and recommended termination to protect her life, but Tim’s mother refused to abort.  Trumpeting that decision, mother and son appeared in commercials for “Focus on the Family” during this past season's Super Bowl.

Now tiny Tim has grown and is on track to possibly appear in this season’s Super Bowl -- on the field -- and that is what scares me.

I'll tell you what scares me -- that this guy thinks Tim Tebow is such a powerful Christian figure he could lead the Crusades.

Dude, he's a football player. Chill out.

Do you think Rabbi Hammerman was ridiculously harsh on Tim Tebow?


Image via Jeffrey Beall/Flickr


Read More >