Lance Armstrong Needs to Stop Pretending He's the Picture of Health

lance armstrongFor the love of fresh hell, can Lance Armstrong just get a tattoo across his forehead that reads "I DOPED" already? Or can he at least just admit it? Yet again, further proof has surfaced that the cycling "champ" doped up during his career. As if we needed any.

An Italian newspaper is reporting that the seven-time Tour de France winner made payments to Michele Ferrari, the shady doctor he's been linked to many times in the past, through a Swiss company, Health and Performance, that has since been liquidated. Crafty.

Lance, you doped. You know it. I know it. The American people know it. To be quite honest, this issue has been so belabored that I don't even think anybody cares anymore. But can you stop marketing yourself as the picture of health? (I'm looking at you, Michelob Ultra commercial where Lance "treats" himself by adding an extra splash of milk to his granola before going for a long ride.)


It's, like, the jig is up. Lance isn't this super healthy guy. He was (is?) a drug addict. The fact that he made history in the sport of cycling doesn't mean shit anymore. He did it while all jacked up on drugs. BFD. Anyone could do that. Hell, lots of athletes do do that.

So, why don't we do this, Sir Lancelot? Why don't we ditch the whole, "Oh, I'm such a dedicated athlete" bag, and just move on with our lives? Why don't you stop making money through endorsements and commercials that project you in a false light, and get on with it? Why don't you write a real tell-all book, chronicling your drug use, kind of like Keith Richards did, and call it a day? Sound good? Great. Thanks. Buh-bye.

Are you tired of seeing Lance marketed as this super healthy dude?


Image via Paul Coster/Flickr

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