Soccer Team Lingerie Isn't for Women, It's for Dudes

newcastle united lingerieEnglish "football" team Newcastle United recently made the realization that way too much of their fan merchandise was aimed at dudes. They felt they needed to branch out a bit, speak to their female audience. So, naturally, they came out with a sexy lingerie line.

Paul Robinson, director of Premier Lingerie (the company Newcastle teamed up with), said, "Women now make up about 20 percent of football supporters but only 3 to 5 percent of club merchandise is aimed at them."

Ohhh, so this is the team merchandise women have been wanting to wear all these years -- little panties, bras, and suspender belts with their team's logo emblazoned on the buttocks. Why didn't anybody say anything sooner?

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Ooh, I know! 'Cause it's a crap idea, that's why! This isn't female soccer paraphernalia, it's still male soccer paraphernalia. I mean, when do women bust out their bustiers, thongs, and thigh-high stockings? When they're with dudes, having sexy time, that's when. Hate to be the bearer of bad news here, Newcastle United, but women don't unwind after a long day's work by slipping into a naughty nurse's costume. They slip into ripped sweatpants, a t-shirt, and no bra. And it's not like the ladies can wear any of this stuff to a game.

And while we're on the subject of lingerie, I'm just going to say it -- this stuff is ugly. Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but something about a silk nighty with a soccer team's logo near the cleavage just seems wrong. And it's totally unsexy. I say if you're going to change into something "more comfortable," you stick with the classics: La Perla, Victoria's Secret, Target.

Stuart Middlemiss, Newcastle United's head of retail, said: "This is something which a lot of other clubs have been exploring. [Really?!] We are keen to see how Newcastle fans take to the club-branded lingerie."

Hopefully, they won't, Stuart, hopefully they won't.

Would you ever wear "team lingerie"?


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