Overpriced Email Makes Rich People Look Like Idiots

email on phoneI'm not saying if I were rich, I'd be the classiest of gals. You might see me going for a jog wearing 2 million dollars worth of jewelry and you most definitely would see me lighting cigars with hundred dollar bills only to put them out a moment later because I don't smoke cigars. But something you sure as balls won't see me doing is paying $7,500 to sign up for some jank email service, then maintaining that service with a ludicrous fee of $750 a month. No, siree.

Elite750 is the "world's first premium Email Address Club," and its membership is limited to 750 people in the world. What will you get for spending a small fortune on something nobody could do better than Gmail, you ask? Why, an email address that says "@elite750.com." Or as I like to think of it "@biggestdouchebag.com."

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To be totally forthcoming, the service also comes with other "exclusive services." Those services include "email printout," where Elite750 will print out your emails for you should you request, as well as access to an "emergency hotline," in case you ever need to ... call somebody about email. (I'm going to assume this isn't an IT-type of line, as there best not be a single technical glitch when you're paying for email.)

This could be the douchey-est (sorry, there really isn't a more a propos word) thing I've heard thus far in my brief time on this planet. It makes bidets seem essential. The point of the email seems to be strictly so one can flaunt the fact that he or she can afford it. Nothing more. I mean, email printout? Hitting "apple P" isn't really all that annoying, is it? I'm pretty confident that no matter how rich I ever got, I wouldn't pay somebody $7,500 to do that for me. I'd spend that money elsewhere, like towards a yacht or a balls to the wall vacay. If I ever saw "@elite750.com" pop up in my inbox, I wouldn't think, "lucky!" I would just think, "idiot!"

Elite750 is a giant fail and proof that the rich people of the world really need to start coming up with better ways to spend their money. Here's an idea for starters: How about giving more to charity?

Would you ever pay for email?

 

Image via James Cridland/Flickr

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