My Friend Was a Cyberstalker & I Caught Her in the Act

girl on laptopThe only thing shocking about the new study that was released that says 37 percent of married people digitally snoop on their significant other is the fact that it's only 37 percent. It's the digital world, baby! You're safe from no one. Hide your phone, hide your laptop, 'cause they snoopin' on everyone out here. And don't forget to make your email password is"rklsdut3480563jh. It's the only shot you have at survival.

No, hilarious joking aside, let's get real for a minute, guys. As much fun as it is to stalk your latest crush or conduct "recon" on your new boss, snooping on your sig oth is bad news. And not just because you're totally violating someone's privacy, because it can literally take over your life. Come, I have a story for you ...


A few years ago I had a friend who learned the password to her boyfriend's email. For the record, no, this "friend" is not me. I don't do that. Okay, fine, I checked my husband's call history when we first started dating a few times. Sue me.

So, anyway, back to my friend. The memory of how she found out his password escapes me right now, but her boyfriend was dumber than a taco shell, so I'm sure it wasn't all that difficult to figure it out. She became obsessed. No, no, obsessed. Unless she was asleep, she was found spelunking in the depths of his Gmail account.

Now what did she find out? Long story short, nothing good. He was cheating on her. With multiple girls. So she did what any self-respecting woman would do: She broke up with him.

Of course when one breaks up with someone seemingly out of the blue, they must give cause for their actions. So she lied. After a bottle or two of wine, she and I concocted this elaborate -- in retrospect, totally unbelievable -- story of how she found out about his philandering ways. Again, the details on that are hazy, but I'm pretty sure it involved my "friend from work seeing him making out with someone at a bar." Like I said, though, taco shell, so it didn't much matter.

As the weeks passed, instead of the snooping getting better, it got worse. There were mornings when I'd get up for work only to find her (yes, we were roommates) glassy-eyed, still up from the night before. She, in every sense of the word, had a problem.

So another friend of mine and I had an intervention. We explained to her that her snooping had gotten completely out of control, that we were sorry that her boyfriend was such a douche bag and how it was starting to interfere with her life. There was nothing left to find out. He sucked. End of story. She agreed to stop.

As the days passed, I no longer found myself waking up to her, still on the couch, the warm glow of a MacBook reflecting in her glasses. She even started going to the gym again. But then I stalked her.

I know I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't resist. When she was out one evening, I opened up her laptop and scanned her history. Boom, busted. She was lying to me.

When she got home, I confronted her. She apologized and said she literally couldn't stop. It was bad.

Long story short(ish), she continued to online snoop for the next couple months -- not as much, though -- until she met a new boyfriend whose password she did not know.

It was a rocky time, those few months. Not only for her, but for me, too. It was extremely painful and frustrating to watch my friend go through that. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

So, the moral of the story is this: Online snooping is seriously not worth it. If your spouse or boyfriend is cheating on you, eventually you'll find out. Don't waste your entire life trying.

Do you ever online snoop?


Image via mislav-m/Flickr

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