Nelly, the Elephant Soccer Oracle, Is a Waste of Everyone's Time

elephantBy no coincidence whatsoever, Germany has discovered another animal oracle who can predict the winners of World Cup games and other sporting events. First, they were blessed with Paul the Octopus, who anticipated the victorious via swimming over to a glass case containing the winning team's flag. And now, there's Nelly, the Baby Elephant.

How does Nelly do it, you ask? Why, she just kicks a soccer ball into one of two nets bearing the flags of upcoming contenders. The net that receives Nelly's goal is the team that's set to win. It's a very intricate science, really. By all means, go ahead and place monetary bets this way.

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Sports fans -- and I mean sports fans -- are a funny bunch. Be it that they need to wear their lucky underwear during a game, or they're relying on wild animals to inform them of ... anything, they're insane.

I hate to be a party pooper here (every party has one), but Nelly and Paul aren't predicting boo. Nelly is an elephant who's bucking balls thrown at her (and being made a spectacle to boot), and Paul was an octopus. A regular ol' eight-tentacled octopus who swam over to crap placed in his tank -- probably because he thought it was food. Thinking that either of these guys actually predicted things is really reaching, guys.

That said, I understand that this sort of thing is fun. It adds an additional element of excitement to the (already exciting) world of sports. And I'll also admit, it is a little strange that Paul managed to predict eight out of eight World Cup games, and that Nelly has already chosen the winner of Sunday's US-Japan face-off. But I still don't buy it.

Though it would be nice if it were true 'cause Nelly just predicted that the Yankees are going to lose. Suck on that, Jeter.

Do you believe in all this animal oracle nonsense?

 

Image via Shine 2010 - 2010 World Cup good news/Flickr

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