George Bush Helps Rangers Fans Set Dumbest World Record Ever

guinness book of world recordsYou know what I think is stupid? Guinness World Records. Sorry, but I do. Who cares how long the longest beard is? Or how fat the fattest man is? Not this killjoy. But what I'm really not interested in is the World Record Texas Rangers' fans set the other night at Rangers Ballpark.

These yahoos set the world record for "most people wearing sunglasses in the dark" when 424 fans were given free pairs of sunglasses by some energy company. I think the record set here was actually "biggest waste of plastic."

That's not all there is to the this post, though. What, you think I'd just write about something as silly as that? You cray-cray. No, the purpose of this post is to talk about a certain ex-President who was there ...


George W. Bush. I know! A die-hard Rangers fan himself, the former president (and former Rangers owner) took time out from his advanced yo-yoing class to don a pair of night goggles. Pretty cool, huh?

I'm not being sarcastic either. George Bush should be proud that the greatest contribution he's ever made to our fine country came after his presidency. That is dedication right there, my friends. He could have just wiped his hands clean a few years ago, said, "You know what? I'm done," given us a hat tip, and shuffled his way off into the sunset. But noooo. He had to go and do this, too!

George Bush humor and jank "world record" aside, I will say Texas has got some mighty baseball fans. Getting more than 400 people to cooperate at once is no easy feat. (Nor is getting George Bush to cooperate at all.) So, congratulations, Rangers fans. And, you know, I actually think you guys will owe me one momentarily, as well. 'Cause I'm about to set the record for "fastest anybody's forgotten about something."

What do you think of this nonsense record?


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