Are Apple Employees Planking on My iPad?

appleDoesn't matter that Acton Beale fell to his death while planking. Doesn't matter that it's a totally asinine "trend." Planking -- laying face-down on something and snapping a photo for all your friends to marvel at -- is alive and thriving in our thoroughly modern society. And the latest people to plank are none other than your friendly Apple store geniuses. And where are they planking, you inquire? Why, on the MacBook you're about to buy, or course!

Can I be frank with you? I can, we're friends, right? If there ever were three trends I'd like to see skedaddle, they're bell bottom pants ('cause I can't wear 'em, not 'cause some women can't kill it in them), the phrase "No worries," and planking. The first two, whatever. No harm, no foul. But planking? A boy just died from this craze. Why are Apple employees promoting this? Are they going to get in trouble for goofing off on the job? And most importantly, has anyone ever planked on anything Apple of mine?


Let's start with why Apple employees are promoting this. Short answer: I don't really know. I don't work there. No, they're not planking on dangerous items or in precarious locations, but still. Planking needs to just go night-night and never wake up. Not just because of Acton Beale, because it's totally pointless and really un-funny.

As for whether or not they're going to get a time-out for goofing off on the job -- and documenting the entire thing on a Tumblr -- again, I don't work there, I work here, but I'm going to have to say "yes." Apple is notoriously hard-core with their employees. (You may have heard of their Worldwide Loyalty Team, or as some Apple employees refer to it, The Apple Gestapo.) So, bad move, employees who chose not to blur your faces out in the photos.

Has anyone ever planked on anything of mine? Probably. You can't walk three feet in my house without stumbling upon an Apple product. For the love of God, though, I hope whatever it was, it was still in the box. Just because they're geniuses doesn't mean I want their junk on my iPad.

What do you think of Apple employees planking?

Image via Betsssssy/Flickr

Read More >