Drunk Frat Boys Are More Likable Than You

frat boysOh, Facebook studies. You are a silly, nonsensical, waste of the scientific community's time. Why do you keep making your way into legitimate journals and fancy laboratories with things like beakers and Bunsen burners?

The latest break-through study, set to be published in The American Journal of Men's Health, found that dudes who post photos of themselves drinking booze -- or mention booze on their pages -- have more friends. Oh, if only Marie Curie were alive to celebrate this joyous find!


Before we launch into the general ridiculousness of Facebook studies in general, let's focus on the conclusion from the study I just mentioned: Guys drinking beer in pictures have more friends. Was this honestly a study? Did people with things like PhDs actually sit down and analyze various photos of frat boys double-fisting Milwaukee's Best? What has happened to the science community? I knew we regular folk were getting dumber, but you, too?

Does it really take a scientist to figure out that guys who are seen drinking -- and I'm assuming these guys are with friends, probably at a place like a party (It would be weird if they posted photos of themselves drinking alone) -- have more friends? Why not a study on whether or not good looking or smart or funny kids have more friends? Not one on whether kids who have friends have more friends. It's belaboring the point! And this study could totally be interchangeable with regular photos, not just Facebook ones. And the same goes for other Facebook studies!

'Member a few months ago when there was that study on Facebook Envy? A bunch of brainiacs concluded that people felt jealous and depressed after looking at other people's photos where they're doing awesome things like wind-surfing and petting ligers? Shocking! Don't people always feel jealous when they see people doing awesome things they'll never do, whether it be on TV, in a photograph, or on the pages of US Weekly? This stuff is not exclusive to Facebook, and it's kind of a waste of time.

What I think is really going on here is the scientists all just need an excuse as to why they're spending so much time on Facebook. They have their answer: It's for science!

What do you think of all these Facebook studies?


Image via Clinton Steeds/Flickr


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