Chocolate and wine: Two of my most favorite things in the world. They even taste great together. How do I love them, let me count the ways. No! We do not have time for that. Instead, I will have to cut to the chase. Someone has gone and combined these two wonderful gifts from the gods together into one beverage. ChocoVine.

It's wine mixed up with Dutch cocoa, sugar, and a brew of other ingredients. And the good people at ChocoVine sent some over so we could have ourselves a little taste test at The Stir. Here's what we thought.

Get ready for the most amazingly delicious dose of antioxidants ever. No, really -- it's true! Look, everybody's known for years that red wine is good for you (in moderation, but whatever) and now everybody knows chocolate is super good for you, too (in moderation, but whatever).

So clearly this Red Wine Chocolate Cake with Whipped Mascarpone could be considered health food. This is a dessert one should eat for medicinal purposes, naturally. Not because it tastes like sin in pastry form. That's just an added plus!

There's seriously nothing I love more than opening a delicious bottle of wine at the end of a long, stressful week. Let's be real though, I'm no wine snob. I'm good for a cheap $12 bottle of merlot all day 'err day. In other words, I mix things up when I buy my cheap wine simply by the way that the label looks.

Super colorful label? Done. Cool name in even cooler cursive? SOLD! Which is exactly why I'm the lame-o that would pick something up from TXT Cellars. With names ranging from OMG!!! (exclamation points included) Chardonnay to GR8!!! Cabernet Sauvignon, it was only a matter of time until someone went down this drunken route with vino.

Heck, I have a few acronyms of my own that could be PERFECT for wine names. Starting with HSID!!!! (Read: Holy shit, I'm drunk.)

Bethenny Frankel declared on the premiere of the third season of her reality show, Bethenny Ever After, that she finally feels comfortable saying that her company, Skinnygirl, is now a brand with a capital B. And if that new apartment is any indication, she ain't lyin'. Damn that place was huge. I hope she hosts a roller-derby party inside there sometime in the future. Anyway, speaking of her ever-expanding empire, Bethenny's come out with a new Skinnygirl product that should make fans of hers, and fans of cheap booze, very happy.

Starting in April, stores will be carrying Skinnygirl wine that comes in red, white, and blush. (If you ask me, it should be named Skinnygirl whine because that's all Bethenny seems to do now these days -- zing -- but no one consulted me.) And its claim to fame? It's 100 calories a glass.

There's an art to ordering a good bottle of wine on a romantic date, and let me assure you that it certainly doesn't involve panic in the streets, hand sweats, fumbling through the list, and acting like you learned how to read only yesterday. Sure, wine can be intimidating, but that doesn't mean you should let it make a mockery out of you, especially in front of your date. And with Valentine's Day just around the corner it's time you learned to order like a pro. So, relax, open that wine list with poise and confidence, and let Gwendolyn Osborn from Wine.com show you how it's done:

Whether you're decking the halls, lighting the menorah, or having super fantastic dinner parties just because, you're going to need some wine on that table to get that party started. Sure you could shop by pretty label (I mean, who hasn't?), or grab the same brand you heard somebody liked once and so you'll never waver from a "sure thing," but why not put a little extra thought into your alcoholic beverage of choice?

Wine is evolving and changing with the times, and wine makers understand that some of us are looking for a little bit more than a tipsy evening. Here are 5 wines that go above and beyond the job of quenching our thirst and actually do some real good.

I've got to believe that this handbag that holds boxed wine is meant to be a hilarious gag gift and not an indication of how many winos there are in the world. The "Baggy Winecoat" ($56) allows you to carry a plastic bag of wine stylishly, easily, and, most important, discreetly, and pour a glass from the rubber spigot whenever thirst arises. It seems pretty gratuitous, right? WRONG! Here are five instances in which wine in a purse is totally necessary.

This is one of those videos that is so graphic, it should be pulled from the Internet. It's hard to watch, the pain and violence are just so real. I'm surprised the Sheboygan, Wisconsin news didn't put a warning in front of the 20-second clip -- there could be kids watching this stuff!

I'm talking of course about the horrifying shelf collapse at Superior Discount Liquor. It's an utterly disturbing and heartbreaking scene. Makes you feel so small, so helpless. All this booze gone in a matter or seconds. Really makes you appreciate every moment you have here on Earth, you know? Life is so fickle.