During a spa trip for my 40th, it became apparent that when seven moms get together for some R&R, they become alarmists. Yep, we spent much of our "relaxation" time discussing what to avoid and how it could kill you.

I know, you totally want to party with us.

We couldn't even escape our cynical chit chat by catching a flick on pay-per-view. Who was going to risk their lives and touch the germ-laden hotel remote? Someone also mentioned that one should avoid handling menus. Needless to say, this made ordering dinner quite difficult. Thankfully, it didn't hamper the flow of sarcasm and margaritas (my favorite combo).

After my vacay I posted, "A Sarcastic Look at 19 Common Things That'll Kill Ya" and was relieved to learn that I'm not the only lame-o who sits around discussing this crap. So, here's a list of more everyday things I've actually been told to avoid, just don't quote me on the effects.

Reading this list can cause ironic revelations, incontinence, and typhoid:

Time to double-check your packaged greens again, everyone. There is a nationwide recall for organic baby spinach in 5-ounce and 16-ounce trays (those little plastic boxes). The alert is coming from Taylor Farms Retail Inc. The spinach may be contaminated with (EHEC) Enterohaemorrhagic Escherichia coli. It can cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, the usual -- and, in worst cases, kidney failure. So we do need to take this one seriously.

This is a less common strain of E. coli, most commonly found in cattle intestines. And yes, I'm sad that once again it's organic that's been contaminated. Even organic can go wrong sometimes! The spinach has been distributed to at least 32 states, so read the following information carefully.

More than likely, you were thinking the Whole Foods CEO was a crunchy hippie type who plays a few rounds of golf with Obama and other liberal politicians on occasion while sipping green juice and eating a vegan snack. But the truth is that the man who holds that gig, John Mackey, vehemently opposes Obamacare and doesn't accept the scientific consensus behind climate change. I know, right?! What the heck? Neither of those characteristics -- nor plenty of the CEO's other traits, like his affinity for Ayn Rand -- really add up to the image most of us have of someone running the top organic grocer in the country.

I could understand why some Whole Foods customers might be horrified by Mackey's politics and may even consider them enough to stop shopping there. But I can be cool with his opposing views -- mostly because we have common, important ground.

Organic. Eco-Friendly. Natural. Pasture-raised. Grass-fed. So many foods making claims that they're better for you. So little time to figure out what it all means. Food labels, catering to our desire to feed our families the healthiest and most environmentally-friendly food we can, have become as common and as useful as Kardashian tweets.

Hundreds of new food labels have popped up on both fresh and processed grocery store items in the past few years, and it's enough to make your head spin. But do eco-claims actually mean anything?

Being the devout organic shopper that I am, I've occasionally gotten into debates with friends about the benefits of buying organic vs. conventional food. They often snicker, "Is it really worth your 'whole paycheck'?" And my argument has always been that it doesn't have to be your "whole paycheck" if you shop smart, not everything you buy needs to be labeled "organic," and ultimately, yes, I'd rather spend more on my food in the short-term, because I see it as an investment in my long-term health. But researchers from Stanford University seem to have a bone to pick with that argument.

They combined data from 237 studies and examined a wide variety of fruits, vegetables, and meats over the course of four years for signs of health benefits from adding organic foods to the diet. Their sweeping conclusion? Organic food isn't necessarily more nutritious than non-organic. Unfortunately, the study didn't take into consideration the real reasons people like me go organic.

Don't you hate it when you're at the organic food co-op, with your eco-friendly hemp tote, and you're loading up on radicchio, which you don't like but you heard was healthy, and someone sniffs over your merch and she's all, "Oh, you get the organic radicchio? Well, I get the quadruple organic radicchio grown by monks who take a vow of organic celibacy," and you're all, "Whatever!" And then she's like, "Oh, is that a mass-produced hemp tote? My hemp tote was hand-woven by farmers in Chile." And you're all, "Whatever again!" Well, apparently this stuff actually happens because a new study says that people who eat organic are more likely to have holier-than-thou complexes and be more judgmental.

I have to confess something here: Sometimes I smoke up. I'm not talking about tobacco or, cough cough, "Mary Jane." I mean an herbal blend -- smokable herbal tea, basically. It's a blend of wildcrafted mullein, mugwort, and damiana, plus some organic coltsfoot and lavender. Just some friendly little herbs gathered to help me get my smooth on.

I'd never heard of this stuff until my friend Liz Neves started making and selling it. I've been buying her botanical-based lotions and potions, but this was totally unexpected! I had to try it.

Monday was a sad day for people who love organic food -- and for anyone who hates it when the Big Guy crushes the Little Guy.

A group of farmers, the Organic Seed Growers and Trade Association, brought a lawsuit against the giant agriculture and chemical company Monsanto. In a nutshell, they're worried that if their crops get contaminated by Monsanto's patented seeds, Monsanto will sue them. Oh what, that sounds like a looney thing to do? YES IT IS -- but Monsanto has sued small family farmers before. So the farmers are suing as a pre-emptive move. Basically, Monsanto is just too powerful.

Anyway, the judge threw out the case. So what does this mean for your food?