Did you drink too much last night? Nursing a hangover? Is it too early in the day for me to ask you these questions? Here, have an aspirin and oh by the way: Taco Bell Beefy Nacho Burrito to you, Bright Eyes.

Let me repeat that for you: Beefy Nacho Burrito. Taco Bell just introduced its newest menu item, and it's so obvious that it was created exclusively for drunk/hungover people. For 99 cents you get ground beef, nacho cheese, sour cream, and their new "Queso strips." It's for those times when you're craving nachos but you temporarily lack the manual dexterity to manage the chips and dip, so they've wrapped it all up into a nice, soft flour tortilla diaper for you.

Now what the hell are "Queso strips"?

The weather is getting warmer, and when it comes to food, that means one thing: Picnics! And, let's face it, there are certain foods that a picnic is just not a picnic without. Would you do a pizza without cheese? Of course not. And no picnic is complete, at least in my world, without certain staples.

Add these items into a wicker basket, unfurl your red-and-white checkered tablecloth, pick a prime grassy spot, and gorge! Here are the 7 classic picnic ingredients and some good recipes for them.

This New York Times blog post starts out sounding like a joke: A man walks into a Starbucks. He overhears the customer ahead of him order a shocking drink -- "a black guy." A what? A few days go by and this man keeps hearing people order the same drink. "A black guy."

Finally, he asks the barista, "What's a 'black guy'?"

“It’s two shots,” he replied.

My jaw dropped. “You mean, like ...?”

“Yeah,” Frank laughed, miming two blows to his head. “Two shots!”

So you may be thinking, Starbucks is selling a racist coffee drink? Why on God's Green Earth would they do that?!? BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT. This is all just a terrible misunderstanding.

A gutsy 14-year-old boy in Michigan really knows his digits. When Ryan Hart bit into an Arby's roast beef sandwich (good call, buddy, those things are delish), he knew right away that the bizarre texture he was experiencing wasn't the typical yummy goodness of undercooked cow. He told the local newspaper that he instantly thought "that's gotta be a finger," and boy, was he sorry to learn he was right.

Apparently, an Arby's employee cut her finger clean off in the meat slicer and headed straight for the emergency room. Thing is, no one really noticed she left, or what had happened, and they continued filling orders. That's when Ryan found out the true meaning of "finger lickin' good" and I'd venture to guess it did not taste like good mood food.

Bill Wisth has a beef with fish fry restaurant Chuck's Place. When he tried to take them up on their "all-you-can-eat" fried fish special, they cut him off after they ran out of fish. The restaurant says they fed Bill some 20 pieces, but Bill feels he had not truly eaten all he could eat. Now he's the lone protester, standing outside Chuck's with a sign reading "False Advertising."

Let me ask you something. When you see the phrase "All You Can Eat!" do you think to yourself, "Great, time to make an ass out of myself and literally shove as much food down my gullet as humanly possible!" Do you think that's what "All You Can Eat" really means?

Apparently Bill does. He took it literally. Way literally. And wait until you hear what else he did.

Well it's good to be a calico lobster. Last week a very stylish lobster was rescued from the clutches of hungry diners when restaurant owners noticed it scrabbling around the bottom of its tank. Jasper White, the owner of Cambridge, Massachussetts restaurant Summer Shack spotted the unusually-colored lobster from across the dining room one night. It had golden speckles! Now the so-called "calico lobster" is expected to live out the rest of its days in an aquarium, far away from melted butter and lemon slices.

Well good for that lobster. But what about the rest of these creatures? Can you think of any other animal we see alive right before we sit down and eat it? Is there something, oh I don't know, barbaric about eating lobster?

Here we go again with the child-adverse masses out to squelch any sign or sound of youth from their daily lives. Cappy's Pizza in Florida is the latest establishment to jump on the bandwagon by officially banning rowdy kids with a ridiculously patronizing sign right when you walk in the door.

It reads: "Parents for the safety and comfort of everyone if you allow your child to run/scream/or misbehave, party will be asked to leave." Kids are completely banned from the back patio. Talk about giving a parent indigestion before she's even ordered. If I saw a sign like that when I walked into a restaurant -- especially a pizzeria decked out with video games and other stuff that caters to kids -- I'd be walking right back out again.

The phrase "forbidden food" isn't exactly in my vocabulary, unless you count something like processed garbage that has hydrogenated oils or high fructose corn syrup. Even then, I wouldn't go so far as to say those are "forbidden" ... I just steer clear of them as much as humanly possible. I tend to think that when you label something "forbidden," you're just asking for trouble, setting yourself up to fail.

However -- in the next year leading up to my wedding day, I'm finding more and more that there are foods I'm steering clear of. That are mostly -- whether or not I want to call them this -- becoming somewhat, well, forbidden. Or at least ... I'm thinking of them as having landed into that tiny little spot at the very top of the old food pyramid -- in the "eat very sparingly" category. And while some of my faves definitely fall into that category, plenty don't.