14 Epic Answers to the Most Annoying Questions You'll Be Asked at Thanksgiving

Woman wine

Mix one extended family with a huge feast, and let it sit -- or rather, brew -- for one evening in what basically becomes a pressure cooker. What do you have now? A recipe for disaster.

In their quest to get to know what's going in your life, relatives who you probably haven't seen since last Thanksgiving will bombard you with annoying personal questions. So we came up with a survival guide to help you out -- this way the turkey can be the only thing being roasted.

  • "How are you still single?"

    I just haven't found someone who's into my hobbies.

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  • "What happened to that nice young man you were seeing last year?"

    Some people just don't know greatness when it looks them in the eye, and he was one of them. And I'm greatness, in case you didn't pick up on that either.

  • "When I was your age, I was already married for two years. When are you planning to settle down?"

  • "So when are you guys going to have kids? Tick tock goes your biological clock."

    Sorry, I don't hear anything except for the splash of more wine going into my glass.

  • "Where's the ring? When are you two going to get married?"

    Ever heard of not rushing people?

  • "Your cousin Jill just graduated from Harvard Medical School; how's your career going?"

    It's, you know, going.

  • "Oh, you *still* haven't found a new job yet?"

    I'm leaning in -- eventually, okay?!

  • "Are you afraid you're going to regret that tattoo?"

    Tell me, Uncle David, do you have no regrets because you have no tattoos? Is that how it works?

  • "So when are you moving back to (your hometown)?"

    I'm planning on the fourth of never.

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  • "That's an interesting hair color -- how come you chose that?"

    Well, it's definitely not because I liked it or anything!

  • "Are you sure you want that extra slice of pie?"

    Are you sure you want to ask me that?

  • "Yeesh, do you drink this much regularly?"

    (No, Aunt Susan, only when you're around, funny enough.)

  • "You know, they say you shouldn't be so lenient with your kids. Aren't you afraid they'll grow up reckless and spoiled?"

    No, that never crossed my mind -- gee, thanks for looking out.

  • Now that you're all equipped, you can enjoy Thanksgiving dinner!

    Or at least try to. Do it for the pies -- oh, and quality family time.

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