5 Reasons I'm Not Sorry I Didn't Send You a Holiday Card

christmas cardEvery year around this time, they start to arrive: the Christmas cards. Rectangle after rectangle of glossy photo stock featuring adorable pictures of families I know and love crowding my mailbox, ordering me to have a happy holiday. I don't mean to sound like a grinch -- seriously, I'm super impressed that you got all your kids' hair brushed at the same time and they're all looking at the camera -- but as much as I like getting other people's cards, it's a tradition I've never participated in ... and never will.


Maybe it's because my family wasn't big on the whole department store photo shoot thing when I was growing up. Maybe it's because I hate how I look in photos 99 percent of the time. Or maybe it's because, as much as I love Christmas and all the trappings, I'm the type who can never manage to get the tree up before the third week in December and doesn't start wrapping presents until approximately 11:30 p.m. on Christmas Eve -- so the skills to plan a professional picture-taking session for my entire family months in advance of Santa's arrival aren't exactly in my wheelhouse, as they say. But whatever the reason, I don't feel bad about not sending out cards every year -- and this is why.

1. Because maybe you don't feel like being merry.

There's nothing like receiving an aggressively joyful message on a day when your heart is feeling two sizes too small. Of course I want you to be jolly -- I just don't want you to feel like you have to be. 

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2. Because I'm not part of the conspiracy reminding you that Christmas is coming while there's still a jack-o'-lantern on your front porch.

Come on, who needs to start worrying about getting their holiday shopping done when we're all still knee-deep in fun-size candy bars?! It's just not right. At least wait until Thanksgiving before you postmark those things!

3. Because I don't have to worry about my kids resenting me for the rest of their lives for making them wear those matching sweaters.

They don't call them "ugly Christmas sweater parties" for nothing, after all.

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4. Because there's no pressure for you to send a card back.

Let's face it: You have enough on your plate this time of year. Plus, now you don't have to figure out what to do with yet another card (i.e., tape it to the doorway, stick it on the fridge, or my personal favorite -- shove it in a drawer somewhere and forget about it until spring).

5. Because if you really know me, you know sending out Christmas cards is just not my thing -- and you're not gonna press the issue.

That's just part of what makes me me, okay? 

Happy holidays!! I do hope you are merry! I just don't want to pay for the postage to tell you so.


Image via Chiot's Fun/Flickr 

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