Stop Eating Cookie Dough ... Forever (F'Reals This Time)

chocolate chip cookie dough

It's a sad, sad day for cookie bakers and children today. That's because the U.S. Food and Drug Administration just threw some major shade on everyone's favorite guilty pleasure: cookie dough, straight out of the bowl.

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We've all heard the warnings about how you shouldn't eat raw cookie dough or brownie batter because of the raw eggs they contain and how they could cause salmonella. But let's be honest, we've all ignored them.

Alas, now the FDA is doubling down on how dangerous cookie dough is. And eggs have nothing to do with it.

It's the raw flour, everybody. Not just the eggs, but the flour.

Is it just us or does this feel like the part in a Law & Order episode where the detectives realize they've missed an important clue and the killer has been right under their noses the WHOLE time?

Here's the deal.

According to the FDA, flour's harvested from a grain that comes straight from the field and is typically not treated to kill bacteria. So whatever crap -- no, seriously, it could be actual animal feces or urine -- has contaminated that grain is still there when you buy your bag of flour at the store.

... and is still there in the mixing bowl when you and your adorable kids lick the spatula and high five and declare your cookies are THE best ever.

What's not so cute? If you and/or your kids develop Shiga toxin-producing E. coli later. Because that means diarrhea (potentially bloody) and some hardcore abdominal cramps. For about a week.

And while most people eventually recover no prob, others progress into kidney failure. And people with weakened immune systems, kiddos under 5, or older adults are most at risk.

More from CafeMom: Why Buying Organic Can't Save You From E. Coli

Please believe us. We would never (ever!) say this about our beloved cookie dough if it weren't true.

But this doesn't come from scientists' theories. People are actually getting sick. And General Mills recently recalled 10 million pounds of its flour for just this reason.

Sniff.

So what can you do to stay safe? You KNOW what we're going to say.

Don't eat the freakin' cookie dough. Or brownie batter. Or cake mix batter. And when your kids mess around with homemade play dough? Have them wash their hands afterward so any bacteria on their palms or in between their fingers isn't transferred into their mouths.

And in the meantime, we can all start looking for a new risk-free yet equally satisfying alternative to cookie dough. Maybe it will be made out of, um, white beans and nut butter. Or, uh, soaked cashews and a banana?

We feel your pain. But a little hearbreak now beats bloody diarrhea and abdominal cramping later, yes?

 

Image via cjorgens/Shutterstock

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