Why Eggnog Is the Absolute Worst (GIFS)

Do you know what I hate around the holidays? Eggnog. Eggnog is stupid and disgusting and a waste of bourbon. Or rum. Or any other booze. 

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It's the worst holiday drink -- hands down.

Here's how you make eggnog:

You don't. 

According to Wikipedia, eggnog is is a "chilled, sweetened, dairy-based beverage traditionally made with milk and/or cream, sugar, whipped eggs (which gives it a frothy texture) and spirits such as brandy, rum or bourbon."

Are you puking yet? If not, I will do it for you.

What jerk decided that it would be delicious to ruin a perfectly good glass of bourbon by adding milk and raw eggs to it? I demand to know who. Also, you know who drinks eggnog? 

YOUR GRANDMA. 

More from The Stir: 10 Holidays Cocktails that Sound as Fun as They Taste 

Are you your grandma?

I didn't think so.

So, skip this milky, weird, smelly holiday beverage, and just drink a glass of bourbon neat instead. Add some ginger ale if you want to feel festive. But for the love of everything Christmasy, keep your eggs away from my nog.

 

Image via Shutterstock/MSPhotographic

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