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16 Texts From Women Losing Their Minds This Holiday Season

funny holiday text messages
Jennifer T.

Between Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and maybe even Festivus, this time of year is a crazy blend of food, shopping, family time, and more than a little chaos. Whether it is fighting with Mom about the proper way to make gravy or dealing with kids determined to end up on the "naughty list," sometimes a gal has just got to vent. Lucky for us, some of that venting was sent via text and is now assembled here for our amusement. Happy holidays, everyone!

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Imagine this: It's Christmas Eve and not a creature is stirring, except Mom and Dad because someone forgot to buy batteries for all the new Christmas gifts. Darn it! Or how about this: Mom is sitting in Christmas Day mass and realizes that she didn't turn the oven on for the turkey before they left the house. Come on now! While Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace and goodwill and rest, any mom who's actually been through the thing will know better. And between the stress of cooking, hosting, and buying gifts, it can drive a person a little nutty. We found 16 texts from women who let the "holiday spirit" get the best of them.

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Read on and see what these women had to say when Christmas forced them to lose their cool! 

Image via Carrie M.

1Mind Changer

Trying to be Santa's Little Helper has never been harder than when a kid is indecisive about what she wants for Christmas. And these parents clearly have had it up to here. Let's just hope that whoever buys gifts for this indecisive little girl hangs on to the gift receipt.

Image via Laura T.

2Mother Dearest

I'm not totally sure about the laws here, but I don't think a woman can put herself up for adoption when she's 35. Either way, we understand the feeling. There comes a time when a mom needs to let her daughter cook her own turkey...

More from CafeMom: 30 Things You'll Miss About Your Mother When She's Gone


3Too Much Advent Calendar Candy

Really, it's kids' fault for not keeping those things under lock and key. And not only that, but how can a woman know that she and her bestie are soul mates if they both don't steal candy from their kids? A little theft always pairs well with candy. 

Image via Alissa N.

4Don't Skimp on the Wine

Prepping to host holiday dinner can be tough ... especially when a certain someone is invited. But at least this wife can offer her husband a second opinion? The only real question is does Aunt Beth do all the drinking or CAUSE all the drinking?

Image via Heather H.

5The Thing About Cooking Is...

... that you have to actually turn the oven ON for Thanksgiving dinner to happen. Ladies, don't be this lady -- triple-check that the oven is on. Or use this helpful trick and take a picture of the oven on a cellphone after it's turned on, so there is proof! 

Image via Jodie D.

7Sneaking Around

Nothing like trying to get frisky in a bunk bed, with posters of pop stars watching from the wall. Just make sure to keep it nice and quiet or else, one will have to deal with Dad in the morning. Merry Christmas?

Image via Brynn V.

8So Shiny

I'm honestly not sure which is the bigger Christmas tree menace: toddlers or cats. Well, at least the barf was festive. #soblessed indeed! 


9Beware of the Vegans

Is this a commentary on my cooking? We all know someone who just turned vegan this year, but vegans, someone should share that we always appreciate a heads up! Now where to buy a tofurkey????

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Image via Janet K.


Being an adult takes practice. Thankfully the holidays come around every year to make sure that we get a chance to practice. And why not own that being one of the grown-ups means that nothing goes right at all! 

Image via Mia S.

11Hiding & Texting

Because who hasn't sent a "get me out of here" text from a party before? Sure, sure, Mom might be talking about her gallbladder. But just wait until what Uncle Jim has to say about his knees! 

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Image via Galena H.


First rule of Hanukkah: Make sure to have a fire extinguisher handy. Second rule: Always keep the text upbeat when texting a partner that the house was almost set on fire. They don't call it the Festival of Lights for nothing! 


13The Christmas Spirit

There are happy people during Christmas and there are Grinches. Don't send a Grinch a happy person text, wayyy before the holiday. It never ends well. 


15Don't Forget the Batteries!

D'oh! Sometimes we get it all right, and sometimes we only get so far to perfect. Luckily for us, having to run out for batteries on Christmas Eve is not the worst that can happen. Trust the person who forgot to buy a Christmas gift for her own mother! 

holidays christmas

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