16 Texts From Women Losing Their Minds This Holiday Season

16 Texts From Women Losing Their Minds This Holiday Season
Image: Jennifer T.

funny holiday text messages
Jennifer T.

Between Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and maybe even Festivus, this time of year is a crazy blend of food, shopping, family time, and more than a little chaos. Whether it is fighting with Mom about the proper way to make gravy or dealing with kids determined to end up on the "naughty list," sometimes a gal has just got to vent. Lucky for us, some of that venting was sent via text and is now assembled here for our amusement. Happy holidays, everyone!

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Imagine this: It's Christmas Eve and not a creature is stirring, except Mom and Dad because someone forgot to buy batteries for all the new Christmas gifts. Darn it! Or how about this: Mom is sitting in Christmas Day mass and realizes that she didn't turn the oven on for the turkey before they left the house. Come on now! While Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace and goodwill and rest, any mom who's actually been through the thing will know better. And between the stress of cooking, hosting, and buying gifts, it can drive a person a little nutty. We found 16 texts from women who let the "holiday spirit" get the best of them.

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Read on and see what these women had to say when Christmas forced them to lose their cool! 

  • Mind Changer


    Image via Carrie M.

    Trying to be Santa's Little Helper has never been harder than when a kid is indecisive about what she wants for Christmas. And these parents clearly have had it up to here. Let's just hope that whoever buys gifts for this indecisive little girl hangs on to the gift receipt.

  • Mother Dearest


    Image via Laura T.

    I'm not totally sure about the laws here, but I don't think a woman can put herself up for adoption when she's 35. Either way, we understand the feeling. There comes a time when a mom needs to let her daughter cook her own turkey...

    More from CafeMom: 30 Things You'll Miss About Your Mother When She's Gone

  • Too Much Advent Calendar Candy


    Really, it's kids' fault for not keeping those things under lock and key. And not only that, but how can a woman know that she and her bestie are soul mates if they both don't steal candy from their kids? A little theft always pairs well with candy. 

  • Don't Skimp on the Wine


    Image via Alissa N.

    Prepping to host holiday dinner can be tough ... especially when a certain someone is invited. But at least this wife can offer her husband a second opinion? The only real question is does Aunt Beth do all the drinking or CAUSE all the drinking?

  • The Thing About Cooking Is...


    Image via Heather H.

    ... that you have to actually turn the oven ON for Thanksgiving dinner to happen. Ladies, don't be this lady -- triple-check that the oven is on. Or use this helpful trick and take a picture of the oven on a cellphone after it's turned on, so there is proof! 

  • The Thought That Counts


    Image via DeeDee M.

    Husbands of the world, take note: Wives truly don't want to be surprised for the holidays. And asking for our size is dangerous territory. Though I don't know about everyone else, but I'm dying to know what she is getting for Christmas this year.

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  • Sneaking Around


    Image via Jodie D.

    Nothing like trying to get frisky in a bunk bed, with posters of pop stars watching from the wall. Just make sure to keep it nice and quiet or else, one will have to deal with Dad in the morning. Merry Christmas?

  • So Shiny


    Image via Brynn V.

    I'm honestly not sure which is the bigger Christmas tree menace: toddlers or cats. Well, at least the barf was festive. #soblessed indeed! 

  • Beware of the Vegans


    Is this a commentary on my cooking? We all know someone who just turned vegan this year, but vegans, someone should share that we always appreciate a heads up! Now where to buy a tofurkey????

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  • Winning!


    Image via Janet K.

    Being an adult takes practice. Thankfully the holidays come around every year to make sure that we get a chance to practice. And why not own that being one of the grown-ups means that nothing goes right at all! 

  • Hiding & Texting


    Image via Mia S.

    Because who hasn't sent a "get me out of here" text from a party before? Sure, sure, Mom might be talking about her gallbladder. But just wait until what Uncle Jim has to say about his knees! 

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  • Fire!


    Image via Galena H.

    First rule of Hanukkah: Make sure to have a fire extinguisher handy. Second rule: Always keep the text upbeat when texting a partner that the house was almost set on fire. They don't call it the Festival of Lights for nothing! 

  • The Christmas Spirit


    There are happy people during Christmas and there are Grinches. Don't send a Grinch a happy person text, wayyy before the holiday. It never ends well. 

  • Stop the Insanity


    Really, what was this husband thinking? A Tupperware? For Christmas? For a 4-year-old who remembers everything? *SMDH* Some men just want to watch the world burn.

    More from CafeMom: These Hilarious Hanukkah Songs Will Perk Up Your Holiday Playlist 

  • Don't Forget the Batteries!


    D'oh! Sometimes we get it all right, and sometimes we only get so far to perfect. Luckily for us, having to run out for batteries on Christmas Eve is not the worst that can happen. Trust the person who forgot to buy a Christmas gift for her own mother! 

  • S.O.S.

    Jennifer T.

    Sometimes it's damn hard to stay jolly this time of year. Thank goodness for decorative but edible candy canes available when a lady needs to eat some feelings. And thank goodness that a woman can emergency text her husband to save her ship!

    More from CafeMom: 'Elf on the Shelf' Is the Real Nightmare Before Christmas

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