Woman Stuffs 7 Lobster Tails Down Her Pants & Tries to Leave Store

stolen lobsterIs that a lobster in your pants or are you just happy to see me? It may sound like a bad pick-up line, but that may very well have been the question cops were asking Nichole Ann Reed, 30, of Florida (of course), who stuffed seven lobster tails down her pants and tried to leave the store.

Yes. You read that right. Seven lobster tails. In her pants. The lobster tails were valued at $11.99 each, and Reed was planning to trade them for a Chinese meal or for prescription drugs, according to cops.

It's hard to know whether to laugh or cry. What was she thinking? But also: How sad.

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As we all know, fish is good for about five minutes, so if she was really going to barter or sell them, she'd have to act fast. Personally I won't even eat fish that is more than a day old and I am guessing most people are with me. I love lobster as much as the next person (I am a New Englander, after all!), but warm? Like down the pants warm? No thank you.

This woman was clearly desperate to pull such a move and it's hard not to feel sorry for her. Even as we laugh at the sheer craziness and feel sad for the spoiled lobster -- who's going to eat them now?! -- the fact is a person has to be awfully hard up to try this.

Lobster is one of the most expensive items in a grocery store, so this clearly had some forethought. At $12 a pop, the haul would have been OK assuming she could sell it.

Is there a market for stolen lobster? There must be. There's a market for everything. I just hope I never encounter it myself. Pants lobster. Shudder.

Do you think stolen lobster is common?

 

Image ©iStock.com/IvanMikhaylov

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