7-11 Slurpees With Moustache Straws? Dare You Not to Giggle (PHOTOS)

7-11 Slurpee strawMoustaches are so hot right now. Seriously, they are all the rage. The people who love them do so with ferocity. The people who dislike like them do so with intensity. And because of this, moustaches are SO HOT RIGHT NOW.

I get wooed in by trends. I like hair. I like to shop. But I can't grow a moustache. I'm a woman. Though talk to me about a slight peach fuzzy lady beard and we may have something. 7-11 created something just for me. Not specifically me really since if they are going to do that they have to change their watermelon slurpee formula, but they made moustache straws that fit into pretty mason jars just for your slurping enjoyment. And of course people are hating all over them calling them some sad attempt at getting the hipsters excited, accusing them of jumping on the moustache bandwagon, rolling their eyes at this marketing attempt. As for me? I think it's the best thing 7-11's done in a long time. I went. Purchased mine, and here are the results.


slurpee straw moustache

So it's plastic. And looks plastic. Unless you look at it for too long and it looks like a weird dog turd. It still supplied minutes of fun. The moustache we chose has been nicknamed the Swanon by those at 7-11 corporate. Swanson as in Ron Swanson from the show Parks and Recreation. The others are unofficially called the Hogan (after Hulk Hogan), the British, and the handlebar. I also purchased the handlebar but my 4-year-old twins lost it in the house before I had a chance to try it.

With a furrowed brow and a plastic Swanson moustache, I can look like Lemmy Kilmister.

Or a pirate.

Since I was in my son's room using some of his props, he got curious. "Mommy, why are you wearing my crown ... ooooooohhhh!"

He wanted to try.

And so did my daughter.

They both took this task very seriously and made some kind of muffled "ho ho ha ha" sound when they moustached themselves.

And that's exactly it. While many are making fun of the latest gimmick for slurpees, my kids and I were having a really good time. We giggled and took so many pictures that my phone storage is now almost full. These slurpee straws took it over the edge! Now that's a good time.

As for the slurpee itself -- which I haven't tasted in an amount of years that may be older than some people reading this -- it was ... let's just say ... not my kind of drink. I choose watermelon, and it was certainly cold and icy in the way a frozen margarita could be but I wasn't wanting to put tequila in it. Not that I needed a cocktail at that exact moment. But that's what it reminded me of only with a very artificial watermelon taste with a hint of cola. My son tried it and said "I don't like that" and my daughter (the daring little sugar monkey that she is) drank about four sips before deciding she was done. It should be noted that I am one of those moms who deprives her children of sugary drinks. I felt proud. Clearly I had allowed their taste buds to develop to dislike the taste of anything besides water, milk, or a heavily watered down all-natural juice.

Regardless, 7-11 has done well. Is it hipster-y? Maybe. I'm not even sure what that means anymore since it means such different things to different people. It's kitsch-y and fun, and the straws are just 99 cents -- kids love them! So does this mom. The mason jars you can also purchase for $2.99 are plastic and being touted by 7-11 as vintage inspired.

I was vintage inspired as well.

What do you think of the moustache straws? Would you buy them?


Main image via 7-11; others image via Michele Zipp

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