Food is great. Not only does it keep us alive and taste delicious (except for truffles, which can go back to the ground from where they were plucked, probably by some pigs), but it's how we communicate and socialize. Think of the memories we form surrounding the preparation and sharing of food.
But food's also got so many other uses -- and not all of them are so innocent. For example, you can use it AS A WEAPON. That's right, folks, for every angel food cake out there, there's a devil's food cake lurking around the corner just itching to start a fight. When good food goes bad, nobody is safe -- not even Hollywood's most beloved celebrities.
Sure, eggs, ham, and flour -- they sound innocent enough. We've all tried at least one of the items in question and probably never thought, "GASP -- THIS MONSTER." But little did you know at the time that these foods were responsible for trying to take down some celebrities in their prime. To shamelessly pilfer from Mr. Jonathan Bon Jovi, they give noms a bad name.
1. Victim: Justin Bieber's Neighbors
Eggs. No longer are they the humble breakfast staple. Now they are a weapon capable of causing over $30K worth of property damage. Get on with your bad self. Way to ruin eggs for everyone, Bieber.
2. Victim: Kim Kardashian
Poor Kim was a victim of the malicious grain! When an angry woman covered her black ensemble in flour, it could have been curtains for Kim. Luckily she had a change of clothes. FOILED AGAIN, POWDER USED TO MAKE CAKES.
3. Victim: Paula Deen
Here poor old Paula Deen thought she was doing good, serving the community at a local turkey drive. Little did she know that one of those frozen turkeys was out for blood. From her face. Which it hit. At great speed.
4. Victims: Macaulay Culkin, John Landis
An oldie but a goodie. Here Culkin and director Landis were sitting around minding their own business when a group of crazed pies (at the behest of Michael Jackson) pummeled them all. Many pies died to bring us this information.
5. Victim: Justin Bieber
Weapon: Sour Patch Kids
See, Bieber is repeating the cycle of violence! As but a youngling, the Biebers was savagely pelted with some ne'er-do-well candies. The thrower went to jail. Bieber was fine. Somebody probably ate the candy.
6. Victim: Harvey Milk
When Dan White was brought to trial for murdering the mayor of San Francisco and advocate and city councilman Harvey Milk, he blamed it on the Twinkies he ate altering his behavior. But no one was buying it. Twinkies are saintly, do you hear me? Saintly!
Have you ever gotten into a food fight?
Image via thatiamdisco/YouTube