Guy Craving Taco Bell in a Snowstorm Writes Hilarious ‘Help Wanted’ Ad

We've all been there. The weather outside is truly frightful, but the idea of a taco still warm from the heating lamp is too, too delightful of an idea to pass up. One dude snowed into his home recently did the only thing a person lacking the appropriate wheels could do in his situation: He outsourced.

The man, identified only by his Reddit user handle of "squirrelsoup," wrote up a craigslist ad, looking for help. He admitted to being slightly sauced, trepidation of the weather, and starved for some sweet, sweet Taco Bell goodness. We feel you, man. Who among us hasn't had thoughts verging on homicidal when it comes to a craving for a Doritos Loco Taco? Uh, just me then? Cool.

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The ad is absolutely hilarious. Props to this guy for being so upfront about his craving while being a bit of a comic savant. He also deserves some major kudos for knowing that he was too drunk to get behind the wheel of a vehicle -- no matter how badly the quesadillas taunted him. Here's my favorite part of his saucily worded request:

I need someone with a 4 wheel drive vehicle to come pick my drunk ass up, take me to the Taco Bell drive-thru, and drive me back home. Then we can hang out and play video games if you're not a rapist. This is maybe 2 miles round trip. I'll pay in tacos. or chalupas. whatever. Seriously my desire for tacos right now is totally unmanageable, so I'd probably even buy you a 7 layer burrito if you asked nicely.

It's almost a pity that no one responded! The poor guy. While our "strange-danger" trackers should definitely be up when we're answering ads online, I kind of feel like maybe I would have responded to this guy if I'd lived in his area. Who hasn't known the pang of a true craving or seven? Especially when it's cold out and food is one of the only things keeping us warm, docile, and stupid.

Have you ever had a food craving so intense you'd do practically anything to get it?

 

Image via erikmarcus/Flickr

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