At long last, pizza is getting the recognition it deserves. Star of the classic holiday movie Home Alone Macaulay Culkin has formed a pizza-themed cover band called Pizza Underground. Basically they sing Velvet Underground songs with the lyrics altered so they're about pizza. And honestly? I'm wondering why it's taken so long for this to happen. Obviously pizza deserves a band of its own.
In fact, there are so many things that are right about this pizza band, my head is spinning. Here are all the reasons why pizza should be honored by a band -- and not just any band, but this particular band.
1. Pizza is cheesy. Home Alone is a cheesy movie. This idea is cheesy. Lou Reed is not cheesy, but he had a sense of humor.
2. Pizza is mysteriously compelling. I mean, what is it about that combination of crust, cheese, and tomato sauce that has so many of us in its thrall? We just don't know. That's why it's so appropriate that Macaulay and his friends chose the Velvet Underground to riff off of for this band.
3. Pizza is a good stand-in for just about everything people love and desire in life, like sex and drugs. Just check out these songs: "I'm Beginning to Eat the Slice" ("Beginning to See the Light"), "Pizza" ("Sweet Jane"), "I'm Waiting for Delivery Man" ("I'm Waiting for the Man"), "Pizza Day" ("Perfect Day"), "All the Pizza Parties" ("All Tomorrow's Parties"), "Pizza Gal" ("Femme Fatale"), and "Take a Bite of the Wild Slice" ("Walk on the Wild Side").
4. Pizza is a survivor. We all know Macaulay has been through a lot. Well, we don't know that, actually. But it seems like he has, because he was a child star, and then he got really skinny, and we were all so worried about him. And yet! Here he is, healthy and singing about pizza. Yay! Likewise pizza starts out amazing and then it gets cold and you think, "Oh no, it's over for this pizza." But wait! You warm up those slices and they're great again. Also, cold pizza is kind of good in a bad sort of way.
5. Pizza appeared in Home Alone, see, so, um ...
Are you craving pizza now?
Image via ThePizzaUnderground.Tumblr.com