bananaI always thought of bananas as a very mild, harmless kind of food. But after reading about this horror story, I'll never look at the fruit the same way again. A woman says her banana erupted into baby spiders just as she was about to eat it. Consi Taylor, mother of two, noticed some white spots on her banana. "I thought it was mold," she says. But upon closer inspection ... ew, do you really want to hear the rest?!? It's worse than you think, I'm warning you. Yes, they were tiny baby spiders that could be mistaken for mold, but (SHUDDER) so gross.

Taylor's story continues, "... when I had a closer look I saw some funny looking spots ... and was horrified to see they were spiders. They were hatching out on the table, scurrying around on my carpet." Spiders. Hatching. SCURRYING AROUND HER CARPET. Oh my God, noooooo!!! That's a trifecta of horror -- the fact that they're spiders, and that they were hatching (something about that is just so revolting), and then they got all over her carpet, where they can easily hide and get lost, never to be seen again until they bite someone. Did we mention Taylor has two young kids?

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But this tale has yet to reveal its full horror. Behold: These were no ordinary spiders. Oh no. They were Brazilian wandering spiders, which the Guinness Book of World Records has deemed "the most toxic spiders" in the world. No big deal, mom! There are just aggressive, highly venomous spiders in your bananas and now hiding in your carpet. You should probably pack up and leave your home and burn it all to the ground now.

The good news is, no one died. The bad news is, someone found deadly spiders in her bananas and it could happen to me, too. I eat bananas almost every day. I put them in my son's lunch all the time. Is this yet another thing I have to worry about now? Like, do I need to add this to my Worry List? Because that list is already super long, thanks to everything else I've written about here on The Stir. Goddamn.

Do you want to know about dangers like these, or would you rather just enjoy your blissful ignorance until it happens to you?

 

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